Tis the Season

Season Greetings to all,

Tonight is my final knight shift post of the semester and year.  Seasonal spirits and a new year rapidly approaching, we must remember that a whole lot of shit happened in 2011 and for me to try and summarize it would be sort of like a history lecture. Also, I'm sure VH1, MTV, E!, and Comedy Central will all do a great job of catching you up on the year when new years actually gets close. Still, I think I can capitalize on some of the years bigger events.

First of, "Godsling" was just voted by TIME magazine as "Coolest Person of the Year"...This makes way too much sense to me, if you don't agree feel free to no longer exist. Sandusky definitely touched little kids and showered with them, and contrary to recent statements I'm pretty sure it wasn't to "teach them about hygiene." Osama Bin Laden took a bullet in the face and Obama got to give America it's first ever live-on-air-verbal orgasm. There was a dece amount of protesting, I'm pretty sure it had something to do with Wall Street and percentages, although I can't be sure what has happened because all I know is when celebrities get involved, these protests usually lose some credibility. Packers won the bowl, Cardinals won the series, Bruins won the cup, Mavs won the finals and the NBA is full of babies. The Dark Knight Rises was filmed, and could be the most anticipated movie since the 1895 release of The Lumiere Brothers "Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat". That's a film major refrence, so cool! This dude in Libya was pretty insane and is now pretty dead. Egypt had some shit going on. Fear Factor, for some god awful reason has made a come back. If it wasn't for Joe Rogan, I would completely hate that show. Lady Gaga sang for the underdogs of life, and will probably continue into 2012. And Kim Kardashian still sucks.

And more importantly, apparently America just declared the end to the Iraq War, just yesterday. So let's see if that means anything in these next few weeks.

This year has been an interesting one personally as well, but as I start to think of it I sort of feel like voming super hard, so I won't bore any of you with that. The end of year marks the time for new beginnings and a lot of other hallmark sayings. New Year's resolutions are often made like the start of a semester at college, you are first really excited quickly followed by losing interest at the first sign of any effort having to be put into it. I think more so instead of resolutions, you just make mental notes to yourself as to what you're going to try and do less of. For example, "In this new year I am going to try and do less homework and still graduate on time." Don't set the bar very high for yourself, keep it low, try to make minimums for life not maximums. That way if you over succeed your goals, you look pretty effin awesome. Also, I think if everyone just made the resolution "I'm going to try and be less of a piece of shit, asshole, douchebag, dick." I feel this could also do wonders for the world. However, we have a lot of people out there that make it hard to fulfill this resolution, because they make ad campaigns called "Strong."

I also want to touch briefly on Santa...hehehe. I mean Christmas. I enjoy Christmas, regardless of my religious affiliation. I find it to be a wonderful holiday full of cheer, joy, and overall sense of nostalgia. I find it funny though, that I will see and hear these Christmas themed pictures, paintings, music, and movies and they always make me feel nostalgic and joyful. Yet, I just realized how none of these things have ever once described one of my Christmas's. Not one! I look forward to Christmas every year, and it's always the biggest disappointment ever, but I know once again I'm going to go ahead and do the same thing the next year. Look forward to holiday that will most likely disappoint me.

I think the reason I do this though, isn't because I'm cruel to myself (which I definitely am, go back and read some of my posts if you don't believe me) but because I think I'm a hopeful person. I like to like things, and regardless of the shit, I'm going to continue to long for the next Christmas to be that Norman Rockwell painting or that Chirstmas Story or that O' Holiest of Nights. I'm fine with that. If you're like me and realize that Christmas sort of blows pass a certain age, just keep on hoping for next year.

Also, if you're Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Catholic, Buddhist, Hindu, Atheist, Jehovah's Witness, Scientologist, Gary Buseyian, whatever. I honestly hope you have some happy holidays doing whatever it is that you do during this time of year and a fantastic new years. But I ask if you don't care about it then please don't go around dickin' it up for everyone else that does love this time of year. Even the Grinch changed assholes, don't shit on other people's parades because you don't believe what they do, and vice versa. I know Christmas is sort of force fed down people's throats so if you don't like it, I'm sorry that really blows, but none of us are gonna change that, so just try to be a good person anyway.

I hope that you all have a great holiday and time off whatever you do, and have a safe and non-remembered new years. If you read this a lot or just sometimes, or whenever you want I honestly thank you, it's nice to share your thoughts, and I encourage more of you to do, regardless of whether it's written like a vulgar 7-year-old or not.

Also, if you are in Russia reading my blog. Thank you, I probably don't know you, but I always see that there are people from Russia who look at my blog. How cold are you? Is Stalin a touchy subject? Feel free not to answer if "Yes," or if you just don't feel like answering.

I will be back in 2012, January 16th to be exact.  My schedule is Monday and Wednesday mornings, so that is when the blog will start again. I wish I could do like a Mr. Rogers where I can change my clothes in front of you and walk out, but I can't. Anyway good luck and til we meet again...

Night, Nite, Knight
Jarrad

A Sad and A Happy

Good evening,

Number 4 did not prevail!

Tonight I finished my finals for the semester. I "succesfully" rocked a not-all-dirty-looking stache for the last few days as an attempt to rally myself to finish all my finals. Definitely got some weird looks, and people started to grab their kids closer to them whenever they saw me coming, but definitely did its job and now I'm done. It feels really good to relax for the next month, and not have to do anything of value or worth. This also marks my final Fall semester ever, that is if I don't end up going back to school to become a teacher or something like that. Over the past week or so I have done an immense amount of work in hopes of not failing any classes so that this really is my final fall semester. I finished my final take-home exam, which I still hate, closed my computer, and shaved off my finals stache. There are two big things that occured in the past few days that I can categorize as Happy and Sad.

This makes me Sad.

If you have spent time with me in the last week you know I've been disturbingly upset with the stupidity of one republican candidate, Rick Perry. I'm not so mad as I am stunned. If you haven't seen his recent campaign ad please feel free to watch here...




I do want to note how impressed with Rick Perry I am, and no, that is not sarcasm. I don't think anyone would make this ad without believing it 100%, I truly believe he believes what he is saying.  On the other side, I think that he is pretty dumb for doing this because clearly people told him to do it, and his comparison of gays serving in the military to children praying in school and celebrating Christmas just confused the hell out me. Those two things were not fairly comparable, nor should they have been used in the same sentence. I don't want to go on a rant about this because you know where I stand and I know I will, but why can't the Republicans find someone who doesn't seem like a complete jackass?

Also B.B. edited another campaign ad "Faith" from Perry earlier this week. Here it is. This also makes me happy.

This makes me Happy.

In lighter news, Louis CK released his new stand-up on December 10th. It's called Louis CK: Live at the Beacon Theater. He wanted to experiment by producing and creating the stand-up all on his own, and released a statement yesterday to explain how is experiment is going. I suggest you read it if you have the time, but if not I'll sum it up here. It cost him roughly $250,000 to make this stand-up happen, and he charged a measly 5 dollars for anyone to buy it off his website. In just 4 days he has sold over 110,000 copies making roughly $500,000.

Granted, Louis CK is a man of simple thoughts, he just capitalizes on them in hilarious ways. However, He just  shit on so many major media companies out there. I bought it the day it came out, 5 dollars that I probably would have wasted on something I would not have gotten as much joy out of, and I can keep it forever. I seriously think you could rummage 5 dollars out in just pennies from around your house. Take it from your roommates coin jar when they are not looking, steal it from a kid, I don't really care but you should buy this stand-up just so you can say you were apart of this experiment. The plus is that it's actually pretty damn hilarious, and I laughed out loud when I watched it by myself...that's right, I LOLed.  In the wee hours of the morning. In my room. By myself. Watching another man talk... Which for anyone has actually caught themselves laughing at something when no one else is around is a little bit of a weird feeling at first, followed by overall satisfaction, and not-at-all that overwhelming feeling of loneliness.

The simple fact that he paid for this show out of his own pocket, with the plausible reality of possible failure, for a comic that openly admits he doesn't make that much money in order to remain true to his material. Regardless of his success, to go out and sell this for the cheap ass price of 5 dollars in hopes that humanity loves him enough to buy it. That takes major balls. I have the utmost respect for this man, and if you enjoy laughing and have $5 and an hour to spare, I suggest that you go online to his website (Link above) and buy his stand-up because its funny and who doesn't like to laugh?

One last thing before I go, I finished my video documentary final and here is the result. It is called Forget the Pony and it basically shows the lifestyle of a Chicago Bike Polo player (or 3). Enjoy.

I will be back on Thursday night/ Friday morning for my last Knight Shift blog post of the semester. I hope you all have a good finals week and in the words of my father who wouldn't want people to know this about him, because these words the Queen would never use...Don't worry, his logic makes no sense to me either. "Kick Ass!" which he is referring to your "studies," not schoolwork not homework. Just "studies."

So go forth and Kick their asses!



Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

Love thy Eachother

Hello everybody,

I have to start this post off with giving a shout out someone very dear to me, and until just recently I haven't realized how much I truly need them in my life. This is someone who, I must admit I have made fun of in the past, but usually beats me to the punch regardless. Not until just the other day did I realize just how lucky I truly am to have him in my life. Also, there was this one time we were spooning in a tent in Munich and I got up because I was so cold and had to go into the giant heated tent, and in the process of me getting ready to leave I may have gotten some sand in his eyes...I'm sorry, although it is one of my favorite stories. "Jarrad, the sand. Jarrad, the sand. The sand, Jarrad! The sand! The sand is in my eyes!"- Mr. Griffin Rawlings Rebecca.

He not only saved one my finals, but he continues to be an asset in my life constantly. Always has he follow through with promises, and is constantly willing to lend a helping hand. He is the man, and I love him.

For the people who are sacks of shit, I will make a list.
1.) Danny "Star-Grillin-Flapstar" Fortuna aka Tuna
2.) Christopher "Hoobastank-Rat" DiNello
3.) ...

That's really about it.

All this brotherly love and relationship appreciation period has made me reflect on other relationships in my life that I definitely have been lacking on recently. Some examples are my family and... Well, I don't see them that often, but when I do I'm usually only with them for the short time I'm with friends. I know I don't see my mother enough or even talk to her enough. I love her, but everytime I start to spend time with her, I regret my decision about 5 seconds in when she somehow relates our completely unreligious, unfaithful, unspiritual activity back to God. In this case, if she heard me say this she would then reply with "God is within us all and constantly apart of our lives." Then I would proceed to think about #4 on my list of hating finals, as she would go back to watching FOX news or Gun Smoke or some shit like that. ( I actually enjoy Gun Smoke, so please don't think I associate that or put it on the same level as FOX news.)

Don't get me wrong I have nothing against God, I just don't want to be reminded about him every 5 seconds. Especially when most of my activities, He would not probably approve of...

The same goes for my grandmother (The one I was talking about fighting in a cage match). Except not about God, most likely it'll be about school or something along those lines that she has known for years, but because she's older now her memory isn't what it used to be. I've had to remind both of my grandparents, every time I go home and seem them, that I go to Loyola because that always seems to fall into the line of questions. Even though, of there 4 total grand children. I am one of 2 left in college, the other being my sister.

It's hard to really appreciate the relationships in your life regardless of the circumstance. I mean I can send a box of chocolates to my brother for sweetest day, but who has the time or money for another bullshit commercial holiday? Besides it comes off a little creepy. Even here, I feel bad when I don't see a friend that I haven't seen in a long time, but it's not because I forgot about them, It's more so I have better shit to do with my life...I'm kidding, obviously. It's because I forget them, but I feel really really bad about it.

People get so mad about shit like LeBron James leaving Cleveland or Albert Pujols leaving the St. Louis, as if any of us have some real human connection with either of them  I'll admit I was pissed when LeBron left, I felt like he wronged me, forgot about me. He doesn't know me and/or give a shit about me. So why should any of us get mad when they leave? Get mad when you lose someone who is actually tangible to you, and close to you, that causes for a legitimate cry sesh.

For that I propose a heartfelt suggestion. Treat everyone you haven't seen in a while and the ones you have like you're drunk. I don't mean the physical portion of the drunk, just try to mimic the affection behind your hugs, high fives, butt bumps, manly fists pounds, or whatever you do to show that. Unless you're a violent, mean drunk, I'll tell you right now no one likes you and  they will continue to not like you unless you try to be less of that.

I mean try to see people as if you were a happy drunk. It's sort of like "Dance like nobody's watching," which translates to me "Dance like you're drunk," except in this instance love each other. Those of you who know me on a personal level, know I'm a little overly affectionate when I have drank some. I apologize if that makes you uncomfortable, but I want people to feel appreciated. I'm a big fan of the euro kiss, and do it to a lot of people...even some people I just met...which isn't always received as well as I hoped. Still, I try to love everyone because it's fun, nice, and easier than hating everyone.

If you do want to hate everyone, than dick off.

Remember even if you act like you're drunk with loving another, just know you will get A LOT of sober stares, but just remember it's not only for you it's for them.

So Griff thank you again, and Capades for leading me in the right direction with this post.

Have a solid weekend, and I will be back on Tuesday night.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

As finals approach at a steady yet insanely fast pace, I can't help but think about all the work I should have done and didn't do, that is now coming back to bite me hard in the ass. This will not be a long post, because I don't think I am able to think about writing something long that isn't actually relevant to my academic career.

A few things I don't like about finals week are (in no particular order)...

1. Making things being due the last class instead of the day of the final. I can't tell you how insanely confusing this is on a syllabus. This is pointless to me, and you are cutting my time a week short.
2. Tests in general- any kind doesn't matter, don't want to do it. "Take Home Tests"- not as cool as people think
3. Having projects that rely so heavily on other people, who will not suffer at all if you don't get it done. Nothing particular comes to mind...
4. The thought of suicide trumps the thought of work by just a little.
5. The IC and all the people you never see here throughout the year, but come just to socialize, be annoying, and create problems.
6. People who have nothing to do, and not even because they were on top of things, but because they just don't have a lot to do (I was this person last semester and Nello every year).
7. Red Bull, 5-Hour Energy, Coffee-Coffee grounds, Candy, and Pop.
8. Pulling all-nighters at the IC on my nights off from work.
9. Snakes...that's just sort of an "all the time" one though.
10. and of course Me.

I always put myself in the situation to procrastinate to the fullest. Right now seems like one of those moments, but its amazing the lack of shit I can do on a PC as opposed to a Mac, just for my finals.  Also, I can't check out a laptop because I have a stupid fine for bringing back an external hard drive late to the DML, because I kept it an extra few hours over thanksgiving break. Sorry, I was coming back to Chicago from Cleveland, as if we already don't give this school enough of our money. Who is really checking out a hard drive the Sunday after break anyway? It wasn't missed!

I'm done, #4 is calling my number... Which is weird because 4 is a number itself, calling a number...inception. I'll leave you guys with this, it's a movie that Chris Capades made called The Funny Bunch and I'm in it. Hope you enjoy and if you've seen it watch it again.

I may see you Thursday we'll see how I'm feelin' by morning. If you don't hear from me, Thanks for the good memories....It's been real.

I will also post this. Shane Coyle said he watched my "Quiet" movie while the song "Sigh No More" by Mumford and Sons was playing and said they worked well together. I then did it out of curiosity and agreed. Above the Caps Lock and Moze from Ned's Declassified both agreed it was amazing! and that I have amazing hair! Also, I think they threw "God" somewhere in there but I can't be sure of the context. You have to dick with the volume a little bit, but make sure they start around the same time and that you can still hear the words of Dave saying the poem.

Quiet and "Sigh No More"

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

Danger: Eavesdropping may result in judgement.

Hello all,

The Knight Shift has had a makeover, as you can tell. I thought it looked cooler. Plus, stars...night...It relates.

Well, tonight on the blog'o'sphere (I sincerely hate that term) we will touch on the timeless rude act of eavesdropping and the fact that it is alright to judge, as long as you are conscious about it.

First off, I have to say that it was pretty cool being published in the Phoenix. I was glad that they went through and edited the post before publishing it, because I had some bad mistakes in there. Like the Cranberries don't sing "Time after Time" Cyndi Lauper does. In my defense, they sound similar, I love both bands equally, and I'm pretty sure neither the Cranberries nor Cyndi actually read this blog, so who did I really offend? It was cool to see someone on the shuttle the other day reading my post, that is a feeling that I hope to never forget. Because I was watching their face the whole time, which is odd because I actually support that action in the post he was reading...AH! INCEPTION! I'm using that for anything that has layers of understanding. I don't care if it makes sense (which it doesn't).

So I was having a conversation with codename: Above the Caps Lock the other day, and we were talking about how awesome eavesdropping is, which obviously sparked from listening to two girls conversation about a boy...which I have to tell you, is a common eavesdropped conversation. It is definitely one of rudest things that you can do because pretty much from birth you're told to mind your own damn business. Still, I feel that its fun, unavoidable at times, and most of all necessary.

I personally hate when I'm walking down the sidewalk and someone is walking just a slow enough to keep up with me the whole time. In this situation, I say that it is the person in the back that needs to either speed up and go around the person, but then you have to walk far enough ahead to create some space or fall back and create some space. Either way, create some damn space! I don't like when I feel people are listening to what I have to say, and that's mostly because I know what I think when I listen to what other people say.  That person is going to be judged for whatever they say. Not even the whole conversation, just the small part that the outsider hears is enough to judge them from the point of view of the Eavesdropper. Which is shitty, but it happens.

I'm not going to stop eavesdropping because I judge people based on these small encounters. I'm totally conscious of this decision, and right after I judge them I remind myself that I caught a 5 to 10 second moment of someone's life. That is so insignificant and tells you absolutely nothing about who they are. Who the hell am I to judge anyone on 5 to 10 seconds of a persons 20 something years of life? Even if its a slightly longer conversation 2-3 minutes you can't know a person from that. You can know elements about them, but not who they really are. Still, it is not going to stop me from doing it, and I think you should too.

Listen to other people and hear how stupid they can be sometimes. I don't care about context at all, just listen. We listen to one another all the time because its vital to not being a selfish egotistical douchebag and also because we need to train ourselves in ways of the words. We need to hear what not to say just as much as what to say. Its sort of like when someone peer reviews your paper, you may think that what you just wrote is gold, but when someone is looking at that from their own perspective it may look like a piece of shit. We don't catch these mistakes because lets face it, most of us don't critically analyze our own actions or words that often, especially in everyday situations.

This is also the reason that most only-children tend to be socially awkward to extremes of shy and barely talks or annoying because they don't filter anything they say. I think this is because all of their life, all their parents ever did was praise them or hate them. I really think it could go either way on that nurturing path, but regardless a parent is too of a extreme to train a kid for the real world they will face. They don't relate to their children's generation so how can they teach us how to talk and interact with people our own age? We need brothers and sisters and cousins to tell us to "Shut the Fuck Up!" when we make a dumb remark. Yea, it sucks, pretty embarrassing, and definitely leaves some scars, however those scars are constant reminders to not repeat the same mistakes. If you are an only child out there, I'm not saying your like this. I've met my fair share of normal only-child kids who are awesome, and they totally dick with my theory.

That's obviously not the only factor that dicks with my theory. There are certain people that tend to be louder then most, or have more douchebaggery than others. We see these people everyday, and I don't know if they're only-children and personally I don't care, but when you are having a conversation on your cellphone on the "L" and don't want people to listen then I suggest you talk at a respectable tone, tell them you will call them later, or simply shut up and don't answer it. If you do chose not to answer it, silence your ringer because no one wants to listen to it. I got rick-rolled the other day by some little asshole who didn't feel the need to silence his four missed calls.

Still, I ask you to eavesdrop with caution. There are things out there that we can't unknow... On the other end, have fun with other people. That's where the game where you make an absurd awkward statement right as a group of people are passing you.

For instance a statement like, "So, that's when I stopped showering with my Dad/Uncle..."

August logically explained to me why Uncle was creepier to shower with than your Dad, and I agree, but still don't underestimate the creepiness of either option. Sub a "Sandusky" in there if you're trying to be relevant. Don't hold yourself back to just that statement, "Long story short, the doctor said I can still have sex with it..."  get creative with it! It's all pretty fun, because it shows you that you don't give a shit what strangers think about you, and it shows the Eavesdropper not to talk in public about showering with relatives.

Anyway, that is all for tonight. I hope you guys have a good week, and I will be back on Tuesday. Listen to each other, but also listen to strangers because they're probably more interesting than you anyway.


Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

Fighting for Love

Welcome back,

After a week of being on Thanksgiving vacation in sunny Cleveland, Ohio (no joke, it was pretty damn nice out this past week) I have returned to my knightly duties, and am prepared to take on all and any tasks that shall fall ahead. That being said, I am dead tired right now and am counting down the seconds it will take until I can leave, which completely contradicts what I just said. I forgot how awesome regular sleep was until this past week. Regardless, I am here and ready to...desk attend.

There is some big news happening this week. A post from this blog is going from the digital world to print. After a stressful and intense negotiation process between the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, LA Times and the Loyola Phoenix... The Phoenix has won the contract to the Knight Shift Blog. Which basically means the Diversions Editor, Molly Raskin, asked me if she could use my "We Think and Do" post in (I think) this weeks Phoenix, which comes out today (Wednesday) at some point. Which in all honesty I am honored, so Thank You Molly and the rest of the Phoenix.

Tonight before work, I watched Warrior with Little Jimmy Records, August, Zeno, and Dave. This movie is about two brothers who compete against each other in some mixed martial arts tournament called Spartan (UFC type shit) for 5 million dollars. Tom Hardy (Tommy Conlon) and Joel Edgerton (Brendan Conlon)  do a great job in this movie, and by the end of it you don't really know who you are rooting for. Its one of those really manly-love types of movies, so if you don't feel like crying over a emotional and intense cage match, then I would direct your attention else where, perhaps Ready to Rumble. August wanted one of them to win, and was pissed when the results didn't come out as he hoped (trying not to spoil anything). Regardless, the last ten minutes or so of the movie get really intense, and I think I may be tired from coming down from that adrenaline high. The only way I think this movie could have improved, like many movies, is if they had a cameo appearance from the "Godsling"... Yea, that guy.

The movie deals with a family torn apart by rage, alcohol, and domestic violence which undoubtedly helped them get to main stage of this event, so even bad moments make for great opportunities. They are a dysfunctional family, and after a week where we all got together with our own dysfunctional families or, like I said, just family It makes you feel a little bit better about your own situation.

In some ways,  you hope your cool enough like Tom Hardy or Joel Edgerton to love your brother enough to beat the livin' shit out of him only to love them even more after. Which raises an interesting notion...maybe a controlled type of violence is good.  Because maybe, just maybe if we approached our family problems with violence ( I mean a good old fashion american ass-whooping) then maybe we could deal with each other better and our problems wouldn't seem like such a big deal anymore. I'm not saying go out there and kill each other, we still love each other and want to see each other live and prosper. However, sometimes a good ass-whoopin or better yet ass-beating will probably make you realize what someone else is saying. I will say I think about beating up my Grandma sometimes, but just like in the movie, a cage match where somehow we were "evenly" matched. Obviously I would never touch her, because 1.)  I would easily destroy her and it wouldn't even be fair, 2.) She would take it way too personally and 3.) that's probably pretty mean. I would do it not because she makes me angry, but because I feel that I would love her even more after. Its all for love, just like Tommy and Brendan Conlon, they had to beat the crap out of each other to really get past their problems.

In my whole family, I would say I am closest to my brother. That's probably because we spent the better half of the past couple decades beating the ever lovin' shit out of each other. I wouldn't say that I have any built up anger from him, because I got it out in the mostly ass-beating I received, even though I got some shots in there. The people I do have the most problems with, I am not allowed to beat up or they won't beat me up. Which sucks because I feel like this would be a great opportunity to start fresh and beat the shit out of each other.

I have some rules though for this fight though:

5.) No Cops- If you lose, suck it up don't run to police and say you got abused.
4.) There has to be a mediator (a ref ) and a controlled environment- just like a boxing match, there will be rounds and time limits. Preferably a steel cage for theatrical purposes, but for realistic purposes some pillows, blankets, and mattresses spread across the floor of an empty room probably could work too.
3.) Both parties have to agree to the fight- there will be no surprise attacks on any one person, both people
will be just as involved in the decision to fight as the fight itself.
2.) No killing- This is for love, so please remember that you don't want these people dead. Dead is bad.
1.) Done is Done- When the fight is over, you leave all your problems on the mat and you start fresh. Hug it out.

That's the ideal world we live in. Too bad for all these stupid laws and ethical decisions holding us back. Anyway that's it for tonight, I hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving, and I encourage you to speak with your family about possible family rumble royals.

Watch Warrior if  your into movies like that, I personally don't like UFC, but enjoyed the theatricality behind this movie. Which could be the most unmanly statement I've made in this blog...probably not.

One more thing...

I would like to say that the comedic world lost a giant on Monday (literally 6'5'' 300 lbs.). Unless you don't pay attention to life, Patrice O'Neal just passed away at the too young age of 41. Patrice you will be sorely missed and your stand ups will forever be top ten material. May you Rest in Peace.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

Change your ways, be Batman.

Hello all,

Tonight I'm going to focus on a conversation that I had between my roommate August and myself earlier today, he's been reading this book in his attempt to become...wait for it..."Intellartsy"- which is a insane hybrid of intelligent and artsy. I was present in its creation by none other than Mr. August himself, who actually trademarked it on the spot. Intellartsy will be sweeping the nation before you know it, not only will people be sophisticated in the ways of the world, but they will actually know what they are talking about. No longer will the illusion be disingenuous, but instead far more truthful and meaningful then you or I could even imagine. I would wait a lifetime in order to see this change come to our fair world, because I fear that it may need it now more than ever.

I'm not sure of the name of the book or necessarily what its about, but I do know it made him bring up this notion of not only change in America, but change in the world and how that's necessary to fix our problems. More so, how people's fear of change has become a crippling factor to many of the problems, and our inability to fix any of them. I'm not saying were in shambles and on the verge of extinction (which we may be), but I do think that the idea of changing anything in society to make our world a better place is frightening, not just because its different, but because it is also inconvenient. I've preached it many times before, but convenience is the most attractive quality in anything. If something is convenient we love it, but the second something becomes inconvenient we get upset, confused, or probably will just not deal with it. I do it all the time, I eat based on convenience not out of desire, and if its too hard to figure out, I'm just not gonna do it. This link between convenience and change is one reason why we can't seem to get out of our old ways and fix the problems at hand.

I'm not a Intellartsy just yet, so my knowledge of the government, politics, life in general is pretty limited at best. I enjoy the Daily Show because John Stewart is one of the few people on TV that just makes way too much sense to me. Still, I am not an expert enough on any one part of this country or its government to make a valid judge of it. However, I do believe I know quite a bit about people, therefore I can say whatever the hell I want about them. After all, I'm dece sure I am one, so I have a personal look into the mind of one of them people.

President Obama ran on a campaign that went from "Change we can believe in." to "Change we need." Now, for the longest time I wondered why he would change that slogan, I liked the first one, The word "believe" in anything sounds great to me, inspiring, hopeful, dramatic, cheesy (which I'm a sucker for). Why then change his change slogan? I think it was a far more harsh decision then it just made his campaign sound better. Believing is great for the world, you need to believe in something because that's what gets you through the day. But believing isn't always rewarded, our faith in a certain thing or person isn't always honored on the other end, and just because we believe it doesn't mean its true. I used to believe in Santa Claus, but we all know how that worked out. When we need something its not about it being true or false, its about doing whats best and letting people know that they need to change not just believe in it.

I think I'm rationally going through this idea pretty smoothly. Belief is no longer a hard enough conviction to hold anymore, although still important, action is what people need to see. The act of needing to change provokes a sacrifice on our part. Sacrifice of anything provides us with inconvenience, and that is why I think people fear change. As essential as it is, its a sacrifice of something that regardless of size, will force us to change our ways, which no one wants to do.

In the Dark Knight when Batman says, "Sometimes the truth isn't good enough, sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded," This is an awesome line from this movie, and not just because Bale delivers it with such swag, but because Batman is sacrificing himself and his place in Gotham for the city and its real hero Dent. He is exchanging People's belief in him for their belief in Harvey Dent. I know it has religious meaning, but I don't care about that so much. But we don't have a Batman, therefore we have to do it ourselves.

So go forth and be your own Batman. Start with the cape and mask and then work up your way from there. Make sacrifices (don't kill anyone) so the rest of us can stand living in this world.

That is all for tonight, I will not be posting next week due to the fact that I am not working (emoticon smiley). I hope you guys have a Thanksgiving that will hopefully be filled with as much fighting and irrational anger as mine will be. "Dysfunctional families" are now just called "Families," I'm pretty sure.

I give thanks for my Friends, Family, and of course Batman.

Night, Nite, Dark Knight,
Jarrad

We Think and Do.

Hello,

I would like to start off this post by giving uber thanks to Bitz and Caleb, who brought me pancakes at 3:30 this morning. You truly are the best damn people I know, and I don't deserve your care. They were still hot when I got them as well as the syrup and butter. I am so appreciative, that the next shower I take I will dedicate whatever song I sing,to them. Which I'm thinking is going to be "Time after Time" by the Cranberries or "How to Save a Life" by the Fray. Because they clearly do know.

Now, I decided to eat those pancakes facing the lake, which at night isn't the best idea because the inside of the IC is better lit than the outside, so I ended up just staring at myself while I ate those delicious little cakes soaked in syrup and butter. On the sidewalk between the lake and the building were three little birds. No, I'm not going there... One was definitely dead, and I'm fairly sure the other two didn't want to try and fly away because the wind was too strong and they were afraid they may be destined to the same fate as their unfortunate friend.

It did look pretty weird because the two were huddled up pretty closely to the dead one, like they using him to block the wind or something. Either way, windows seem to be the sad demise of many birds these days. I've been in the IC numerous times when I happen to look out at the sidewalk and see a bird who just wasn't bright enough to figure out the concept of a window.

What is the golden rule though about the light: Never go towards it, unless ya know it's metaphorical or some shit like that. How many mosquitoes have died because they didn't follow that rule? I'm waiting for the day one stops, turns, and runs the opposite direction, but I know it will never come.

Truth is, I can't really blame them either. God knows, I've ran into those glass sliding doors, screen doors, windows, other transparent things. I'm just to excited to go from the outside in or inside out to think that there's a chance that something clear enough is going to stand in my way. I personally blame Windex. That shit makes a great looking house, but it's breaking the visibility of barriers to the point where I think it's becoming a legitimate health concern.

Also, the embarrassment factor. Try and walk into a glass door while surrounded by a group of people, and then try and shake that off. Afterwards, I sort of regret not going fast enough to snap my neck or at least shatter the glass so it cuts me all over my body. At least then people will feel sorry for me, instead of simply laughing at me.

Animals in general can be just as dumb as they are smart (and I'm including Humans, which are also animals). However, at times of panic or excitement were not always on top of our game. A deer in the headlights for example, they just stand there. Even though every instinct they have is telling them to get the hell out of the way, all they can really hope is you didn't cheap out and decide to wait another year to replace your brakes. The same goes for you, you have to make a quick decision, do you swerve out of the way, do you break, do you do both, or do you gun it and hope to God that you're going fast enough so he explodes on impact into even smaller particles that will do as little damage as possible (even though the science of it all doesn't really back up that theory). More often than not they're gonna get plowed over, and there's gonna be a shit load of deer guts all over your car and probably a significant amount of damage. I know there are those awesome heroic stories of someone jumping to action at a moments notice, but there are far more idiot stories where someone failed to do so.

Our eye is an amazing tool that many of us take for granted each and every single day, much like our hands, feet, brain, body, nervous system, etc. The second one of those things start to fail on us, we start to see things in a whole different way. I'm not really going anywhere with this, I just know I've made a point to take a good long look at my hands (drinking was probably involved), and think just how amazing they are. How thinking has become so second nature to me, I don't even realize I'm doing it. Right now, in this moment for example. I am typing this out because of all the things I've learned about words, typing, grammar (not that it shows), and the use of my hands to type out a post. It's quite marvelous when you really sit and think about it.

I ask you to sit and think about every part of your body, become conscious of your movements, from blinking to hand movements to jaw clenching to eye wandering to lip puckering to posture. Look at it in certain settings of your life, when you're sitting in class, in the bathroom, at a party, at a bar, in a crowd of people. How you act depending on the situation and how your body illustrates that with its movements. Its all fairly fascinating shit, when analyzed from a personal perspective. Then when you want to compare watch someone else... but don't let them know you're watching because 1.) then they'll act for you giving false notions and 2.) that would just be creepy. I guarantee though that they "move" quite differently from you.

Tip: Although I don't condone it, drinking and/or the use of narcotics may or may not enhance this exercise if done in respectable, but "acceptable" amounts.

That is all for tonight. I sincerely ask that you acknowledge yourself and others, as it will give you a new self-satisfaction and make you feel lucky that you're not a bird with a broken neck or a deer carcass scattered all over I-90.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

Superheroes Crazy or Innovators?

Hello everyone,

If you watch Scrubs still, I automatically want to lick your face...in the creepy way. I'm currently working on an elaborate Scrubs fantasy, that I really don't want to tell any details because that would only ruin the surprise. I've been preparing and seeking the right opportunity for the past 5 years. I'm going to make my dream come true this semester and it will be documented. It's actually not very elaborate at all, I know I just used that word, but there was a key element missing to this dream that not until recently been introduced. When it happens you'll know.

There is too much going on around me. Not only are they doing their nightly cleaning of the IC, but these two creepier guys came in to clean the carpet. Nice Gents, just a little off putting. One of them has braces on only the right side of his teeth (and I mean both top and bottom). I don't know what is more interesting than that. Maybe this.

Watched this documentary in Video Documentary tonight, go figure. It was called Confessions of a Superhero, if you have not heard or seen this please do. Chris Capades will read this and get a smile on his face (Roooob Schneeeeider (inside joke and most of you are on the outside)). It's a movie about 4 actors and actresses that play Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and the Hulk on Hollywood Boulevard and how they got there and where they are going, some may say its "super" interesting. Oddly enough, by the end of movie I was still pretty shocked by some of the things that were happening. You may want to remove all dangerous items from around your house just as a precaution, because after watching this you will either feel amazing about yourself or want to go vert. I know those are two completely opposing ways to feel about something, but that is how good this thing is. I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially Batman aka George Clooney if he got beaten in the face with an ugly stick.

May I add, I had so nothing to do today that I decided last night I was going to skip that class because our teacher is in Arizona, and then got so bored being by myself I went anyway. I just flapped on a pre-determined skip day, I told you mental health is just as important as physical, and clearly my psyche is dicked up.

Delusional people, I think you make the world go round. Screw fat bottomed girls, it is you who make this world worth anything. This is a world that is better because of you, because it keeps all of us normal people's logic in check. I need you as a measuring stick so I know if I step out of line. They are our mental police, keeping logic and reason in check in order to have a healthier planet.

Speaking of which, Captain Planet will be a live action movie. That not only tickled me down below, but got me so excited I started looking for my Wheeler action figure and ring, only to be disappointed 2 seconds immediately following after realizing they are probably at home with the rest of my childhood stuff. I'm pretty sure some ass of a dumpster kid stole my ring in a McDonald's Play Palace when I was like 4, but I definitely still have the action figure. It use to spark out its chest because he was the fire guy, but it doesn't do that anymore after I played with him in the tub. Captain Planet is the sole reason why we don't live in garbage infested planet, he saved the earth one recycled piece of trash at a time. That show is basically the template for Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. Captain Planet made recycling the cool thing to do, Al Gore is a honorary planeteer with the power of "Influence."

Don Cheadle is Captain Planet from Don Cheadle

This is a very cool movie, not actually the Captain, but damn close, and gets the point across with adult talk.

That is all for tonight, because currently I can't string together a thought long enough to capitalize on anything. Oh, and Penn State, I hate you not only for what you did, but having to hear about every freaking day.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

My body hates me, as it should.

Hello,

In the past few weeks, things have been fun. Just a whole lot of college going on, and other artsy, black, white, back to black, wounded, fun, retro, surprising, ridiculous, and any other adjective you want to throw in there. Regardless, my on-going lack of treatment to my body, physical and mental well-being has been brushed under the couch with everything else that takes little to any effort to maintain. I need to make a drastic change, or I fear I may die.

It's not like my eating habits have ever really been that great before. In high school, I barely ate lunch, and when I did it definitely was not anything good or in great amount. I don't think I've had a consistent eating time since freshmen year of college, when they would give you meals. Even then, it wouldn't be surprising if I just went for the company and didn't eat much. Then when I do decide to eat, it's probably not going to be anything healthy because as we all know eating healthy involves money. Then with school and other things, sometimes I just forget to eat. I am a victim of the accidental fast. Whole Foods can go die, because they advocate eating healthy, but their prices don't seem to want to cooperate.Something that, since coming back from Rome, has been a bit hard to come by. Hence, me taking a night shift two days a week to try and pay for my personal expenses.

Which brings up another big point in my body's demise. I work this shift two nights a week. A regular sleep schedule is not really in the cards for me. This is not the kind of job where it should be a couple times a week shift, but an all or nothing. Let your body adapt, not rip it in and out of its cycle every other day. On top of that I don't start any given day of the week until 4:15 in the afternoon. So, I either over sleep and feel like shit, or don't get enough sleep and feel like death. Soon, following the week of Thanksgiving (which I don't have to work (emoticon smiley)), I will be moving to three days a week with the addition of Monday night for the remaining three weeks of the semester, just in time for the most stressful part of the year. Optimally the best time to not worry about getting enough sleep.

None of this compares to my lack of exercise, which can be added up to none, other than the great amount of walking I get to do for all of my classes, which I'm actually not being sarcastic about. I do a fair amount of walking due to my major and need to travel for shooting purposes. Still, this campus has been under construction since I started here and won't be finished for three more years. It wasn't until the recent raping of  this campuses landscape and buildings that I've had a problem with this. I used to love going to play basketball or football, but now getting a court is virtually impossible because our athletic facility is actually worse than my high school's. Then when you do go you would have to wait forever to get into a game, where my guess is there are a lot of cliquey kids who not only don't want you on their team, but refuse to pass the ball to anyone but their friends. I'm the first to admit my lack of skill at basketball, but I hate those kids who think they are the best when clearly they are not. I enjoy playing as much as the next guy, its a good time and you get a good sweat in. (Those of you who know who I'm talking about, I'm right and you know it.)

I know, regardless, that there are other ways to stay in shape, but my time is not precious, my laziness is. Convenience and laziness are most likely the biggest contributors to my demise as a human being, as I think it would be for anyone. In that sense, you can take everything I just said with a grain of salt. We are all responsible for who we are and our own personal convictions about our own body and self-being. Although, at times we can't always help it, or it may not always be our fault, and of course there is always the exceptions. I take full responsibility of what my body and mind has gone through, I'm not going to sue anyone over my problems, because they are MY problems.

That is a steel-toe kick to chastity region of everyone who sues for dumb reasons. "McDonald's made me fat." "McDonalds coffee is hot" "Drive wasn't like the Fast and Furious." etc. Other bullshit things that make just about everyone else die a little more in side.

That is all for tonight, I hope you all have a great rest of your time living, and for God sakes please take care of yourself, because you can't sue yourself thin. Unless you get lipo!

After a day of drinking the other day I asked August for some NyQuil, he said, "Are you sure? It's really bad for your liver after you've been drinking."... I proceeded to laugh pretty decely, and no that's not suppose to be "decently." He's actually right, just the hilarity behind what he said had to be shared.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

P.S. Whoever did this in the IC today...I don't like you, like at all.

Anti-Naked Celebs, Crappy Celebrities, and One that is both.

Greetings to all,

This weekend marks the return of a great institution the DDC, those of you who don't know what that is...good, you are not suppose to. Those of you who do, you are far ahead of the game. This semester is already half way done, but I'm not getting down just yet on being a senior, there is still plenty of time to get shit done.

Tonight I would like to start off with celebrities and why them getting leaked naked pictures is messing up this fantasy for the world. We want to see celebrities naked because they are beautiful and seeing beautiful people naked is up there with hitting a home run to win the World Series, winning a noble peace prize or  fantasy baseball, and solving the world's hunger and peace problems.

SIDE NOTE: Do you people know that world's population is up to 7 billion...Pro-Choice is starting to look more like an inevitable public service.

Back to what I was saying. It's awesome to see Celebrities that we "know" and "love" naked on screen, and hopefully doing something sexy, because we all know from It's Always Sunny, "Ya gotta make it sexy." However, in recent years the trend to hack celebs phones and steal celebrity sex tapes has gotten big. Let's name a few Scarlett Johannsson, Blake Lively, Vanessa Hudgens, Rhianna, Her Ike- Chris Brown, Greg Oden...(DAMN!), Grady Sizemore, Justin Timberlake, Kim Kardashian, Erin Andrews (...nice), etc.

There have already been so many, and there will probably be many more. With the exception of Erin Andrews, I'm going to say that every one of these people deserve it. They can be mad all they want, but truth is after the first hack which I think was Vanessa Hudgens, you would probably start being a little more safe about naked pictures or videos. I don't know, just a thought. Don't leave naked pictures of yourself on your phone, it's really not that hard. Unless your Nello and like to walk people through your gallery (they're pretty good).

Not only are you screwing it up for yourself, but your screwing it up for the rest of us. I don't want to see this "half-assed" naked pictures of celebrities...I mean I will look, but I don't want to. I want to see you in a scene and in the heat of the moment, regardless of it's genuineness, it is real to me. Also, the mystery is part of the attraction. Monsters Ball, Swordfish, Black Swan all are amazing exactly for what they are, and there limites on what was shown.The best part of going to a R-rated movie when  you know there is a sex scene, is that they're not showing everything, but still awesome enough to get excited.

So I say to all of you celebrities out there that may have a naked picture of yourself on your phone. Please delete it, the world doesn't need to know your secrets. We only want to fantasize about them, and you think I'm wrong. One of the saddest realization a person has is when they find out their favorite celebrity is human, these naked pics is giving them a human side.

And TMZ, please die. You ruin celebrities everyday for the rest of us.

My next piece of agenda, is celebrities that really suck at life. I know I already wrote about the Lohan's, and my convictions stay true to them, but there are some more that definitely need to be mentioned. The ones I  dislike are Tila Tequila, Paris Hilton, Snooki, Sammy Sweetheart and Ronnie (every one else on that show is awesome), and of course Kim Kardashian.

Now, I've "kept up with the Kardashians" in the past, but they suck at life so hard it physically hurts me. I'm pretty sure I would get intense migraines every time I passed the E channel and their show was on. I've never seen worse "actresses" in my life, and I use that term because clearly they are as genuine as the show they are on, and they can't even act genuine which is equally if not more sad. I think reality TV is the reason we have girls getting pregnant at the age of 13, which lead to shows like "16 and pregnant." People will do anything to get their 5 minutes of fame. I understand people like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian worked hard to live off their family name too, but this shit with Kim Kardashian getting divorce just really pushed me over the edge.

For the longest time I can't sit and watch TV without some bullshit about Chris Humphries and Kim Kardashian getting married, and how important they made it sound to how little I cared was ridiculous in difference. Still I'm going to get this shoved down my throat until they were married, and I thought fine at least its done. Then you end it 72 days after the wedding, so now all I have to hear about is your divorce

I think it was Paul who said to Peter "The sanctity of marriage is valid only after the first 73 days."

Those of you who still believe in the sanctity of marriage, and how gays should not be allowed to wed even if they love each other for more than 72 days. Why not let other people try and break Kim Kardashian's record? Who's it gonna hurt?

SHOUT OUTS:
- To Nello D apparently there will be another Fintel Diaries soon
- To Griff Rebecca and all the awesomeness that comes with each almost "moment"
- and the DDC let's get artsy.

That's all for tonight. I hope you all don't look at leaked naked pictures unless it's from a movie, and please Occupy Logic cause we are letting people like Kim Kardashian run the world.

Night, Nite, Knight,
JAY KOO

(for Chris Capades)

Cleveland is the reason I'm...well...

Hi,

I, like many others, have the habit of starting things without really finishing them. I have about 50 ideas which are "half baked" and sitting in the "oven." Even when I have a M.O.M sesh with Tuna and Nello, it's just three guys with all the same mentality. "That sounds awesome, we should do it." Well, Shit never gets done. Ever. So I have to say I'm proud of myself  for keeping up with this small testament to the person that is Jarrad aka The Knight Ranger.

Tonight, I would like to focus on the magnificent city of Cleveland and all the greatness that entails.

I was born in Columbia, Maryland then moved to Columbia, South Carolina from there I moved to Cleveland, Ohio. By the time I got to Cleveland I was about 5, I'm not sure of the actual date. So for 13 years or so I grew up in Cleveland, literally kindergarten through 12th grade- Clevelander. Like many of the people I grew up with they were in the same situation, except most of them born there.

Cleveland is not a bad place, hopes don't die there, the water isn't toxic, the homeless population isn't too ridiculous, and the sports teams aren't all that bad...disappointing maybe, but not bad. I find it funny that I grew up in Cleveland because I feel that who I am is pretty reflective of the city itself. It's like we always come so close to greatness than lose.

This is not a pity party for Cleveland or myself, it's just reality. Don't feel bad for us, because we don't want it. I have had some truly great moments in Cleveland, and the city itself has had some of its own. Rockefeller, I'm pretty sure that guy did some shit, I know he had a lot of money. You know how at night when you're outside and the street lights go on....You're welcome. Cleveland didn't invent electricity, but was the first city to have outside lights illuminate its streets. We did some stuff with steel, we have the Rock'N'Roll Hall of Fame, a giant ass FREE stamp, and The Flats use to be a hotter hangout spot then all of New York, Chicago, and LA combined.

Although we do like to choke in the most inopportune moments ever, we still have some great sports. Game 1 Playoff series against the Yankees in 2007, I was there with Jimmy "Beanbags" Razzante and some of the other Razzante fam. They not only won, but they spanked those pretentious New Yorkers in a final score of 12 to 3. Or that 99 yard TD play between Jeff Garcia and Andre Davis. I was there with Nate "Ladybug" Tritt and his dad. Did you know there have only been 12 99-yard pass plays in the history of the NFL, at least that is what Wikipedia says, and I believe 'em. Every Cavs game with He Who Must Not Be Named, sometimes, sort of. My first Indians game ever ended when one of my favorite Indians of all time, Travis Fryman, blasted a solo walk-off to the bleachers in the bottom of the ninth.We have some true moments of greatness that tend to not be executed that well down the line where it matters, but still true.

Movies have a lot to thank us for. Paul "Pretty Eyes" Newman for one, You're welcome. Drew Carey, can you say "Whose Line is it Anyway?" No, well don't worry because the "Price is Right," bitch. Halle Berry, Bob Hope, Arsenio Hall, Kid Cudi, Bone Thugs, Anthony and Joe Russo- without them there would be no Arrested Development, Molly Shannon aka Superstar, Chip the Ripper, Stephen Gyllenhaal- without him there would be no Jake (let's ignore the other one for sake of argument). Let us not forget the movies themselves. There would be no Superman (of any kind), no Fortune Cookie, no Happy Gilmore, no Raging Bull, no Air Force One ,any Major Leagues, no hot 2012 release of The Avengers, and of course NO CHRISTMAS STORY.

Can you imagine your Christmas without a TBS filled day of A Christmas Story playing on repeat for 24 hours straight, because I can't, and I sure as hell don't want to live in a world that can.

I'm the first one to shit on Cleveland, but truth is we've got it. Once we figure out what "it" is we're gonna be a force to be reckoned with. So, I am officially ridding the city of that bastard name given to us, "The Mistake on the Lake," and giving it a new name "The Cake on the Lake," because everyone wants a piece!

So you see like my city, I don't always perform best in high pressure situations, I'm not always gonna please you or win just to make you happy, but we'll always come through in the long run. We will never turn our back on anyone, even if they turn their back on us.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

David Freese is a Hero and The Lohan’s are not.

Greetings,

Tonight, I am ridiculously tired. I'm hoping that by writing this entry tonight I will be able to kill a massive amount of time, and then by the time it gets posted I will be able to go home and cuddle up next to my picture of Lea Michele, which I truthfully have tacked above my nightstand.  

I know many of you will be excited to know that I survived this week, the lack of the world ending, and all that other not-nearly-as-important stuff. I got through this week after spending about 10 to 12 hours in the past 2 days editing this project, which our teacher told us today is now going to be due next week...I’m not mad so please don’t think that, but I would have liked to drink last night for Charlie’s birthday instead of being in the library until 1:00AM slowly losing my mind, still questioning the mechanics of the Navi’s sex junk. Can they impregnate each other through their hair thing? Does the hair thing also get a Navi girl pregnant? It was a ripple effect.

Oh, and for those of you who are wondering what is actually going on in the IC 1st floor right now...Nothing. Absolutely nothing interesting is happening right now. I think murderers and rapists just know my shift, so they know when to stay the frick away. August, Charlie, and Sud were here (which was nice), but August and Charlie bailed and Sud’s stuff is still there, but he is nowhere to be seen... He may have died.

So you see nothing at all is happening (except the possible death of Sud). I sort of want to see someone drive through the front of the IC. I don’t want anyone to get hurt, It just would look really cool. All the glass snowing down like a twinkling winter’s night, it would be pretty.

Anyway, Game 6 of the World Series was on tonight, and I didn’t watch the whole game, but I did watch from Inning 8 on. Let me say to those of you who don’t follow sports or watch TV or do anything socially connective, the Cards brought down the house tonight. They didn’t rape, they did something much worse. They teased the Rangers with the thought of a ring. Dangled the goal right in front of them, and then David Freese smacked it 429 ft. to deep center. Although, I’ve been cheering for the Rangers, I have to say that was truly a thing of beauty. I had mad respect for Mr. Freese in the past, but that just put the cherry on top. He is officially a hometown hero, and solely responsible for my renewed faith in baseball.

After a year of a horrible fantasy squad in a league that I just didn’t recognize as home anymore, David Freese blasted me out of my baseball funk. 

So Thank You David Freese, I wish you luck in tomorrow’s game. Even though, I’m still gonna root for the Rangers and Mr. Michael Young.

UPDATE: Sud is alive and has returned to his stuff.

I would also like to bring up this whole Lohan situation, and I don’t just mean Lindsey I mean that whole family. I don’t care about you guys, please stop doing things so the media will stop flocking to you. I would compare them to something usually, but they are just so depressing and crappy that they have become the extreme shitty side in a comparison. I would use them as the low-end of a comparison now like “Your friend looks like a sick infested whore, she’s starting to look like Lindsey Lohan” or  “Your family is so messed up, they are starting to be like the Lohan’s.” So there is nothing worse then them, they literally are at the bottom of the STD infested cesspool. I guess they can be proud to be the top of shittyness in life. 

I pretty much stopped caring about Lindsey Lohan after her amazing performance in The Parent Trap, which don’t laugh, I actually truly enjoy that movie. For a kid to learn two different roles, and one in a British accent. She kills it. Plus, I like that Jakandra song “Never Let You Go,” damn good song.

That’s all for tonight, and I have two hours to go. But tomorrow...later today I’m heading to Madison where the butterbeer flows like wine and insanity consumes each and every individual in a 5 mile radius. 

Night, Nite, Knight,

Jarrad

P.S. Major props to Lance Berkman, dude with a grey beard can still swing a bat with a hefty-load of bitch-slappery.            

Halloween

Hi,

I like Halloween. That is as direct of a statement I can make. I think there is something so amazing about going out at night in my neighborhood (unsupervised!), dressing up as whatever the hell your heart can imagine, and getting lots of FREE candy. This holiday was made for Americans. Now, many of us have gotten to the point where it's not too acceptable to go out and trick-or-treat, and I definitely understand. My last year was my senior year of High School, those that look down on me, All I have to say is FREE CANDY! Regardless of my confidence, taking too many stares from disapproving mom's was bad enough, but going up to houses and getting candy from kids younger than me was almost as pathetic as the last time I willfully ate Cinnabon (which was August 20, 2010 roughly around 1:30 PM). Eric, Nate, Weston, Michael, Bruno, and Mat those were some good ass times, sorry if I left anyone else out.

If you were lucky, Halloween would fall on a Friday or Saturday, so afterwards you could have a sick-ass slumber party filled with a rousing game of Butt-Blasters and Mario Party, eventually leading into a not-at-all-homoerotic dog pile. I have to first explain what "Butt-Blasters" is because that piece of knowledge is critical to my heterosexuality.

I don't quite remember the exact rules, but the funniest and yet most disturbing part of the game involved one of us kneeling down onto our legs, so imagine the fetal position where the base of your body is resting on your calves, with their back side facing us. Then, we would take turns taking this small wooden hockey stick or ping-pong paddle (shooters choice) and smack a ping-pong ball at their butt. The hilarity ensued when you got a good shot in. Which would then be followed by 4 AM slap-happy laughing until you vomed up candy and soda. Clearly hitting things at each others butts could possibly be the funniest thing ever, of all time.

Never in my life have I ever typed that out or had to explain it, but if you didn't think we were weird as hell before, you sure do now. I am seriously questioning my normality considering other things I did when I was younger...We were in middle-school and all clothes remained on you sick perverts.

Now, Halloween has become yet another reason to get drunk and make a complete ass of yourself in a costume this time. It gives both guys and girls the equal opportunity to turn whatever sweet childhood figure, into a sexual, erotic, desirable being. They've turned Vampires and Werewolves into the sex symbols of our generation. I honestly thought they should've gone with Frankenstein and Ghouls, but I'm just thinking out loud. I seriously saw some girl skank up a Mrs. Pacman costume once, which is one of the furthest thing from sexy, unless you're regular Pacman obviously. Even then, Mrs. Pacman looks just like if regular Pacman went drag.

Still we all will eventually grow up, get respectful jobs, and become the parents pocketing flasks that we take a pull from waiting on the sidewalk while our kids head the pack of kids and then fall back to the back of the group to get seconds. I called it the two for one special, my candy intake doubled then eventually tripled when I created this little maneuver. Unlike other people's rendition of this move, I would do it on the same trip to the house, so you never had to double back, take the house for all its worth, and never look back. One time, I successfully got a woman to give me candy 5 times, and she was handing out full candy bars. It was revolutionary. My greatest con, I felt like a little Neal Caffrey. I look forward to teaching my kids these little ratty tricks.

This Halloween I will be going back to Madison, WI, where my roommate August originates from. I look forward to a night of responsible drinking and bobbing for apples, with the exciting possibility of mingling with safe friendly strangers, as well as dear old friends.

I know this post should have been for Thursday night, but I'm just gonna write it now because I can, and it was freshest on my mind. Hope your Halloweens are full of some free candy, and a whole lot of responsible intoxication.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

Happy Birthday, End of the World, and Mel Gibson

Hello again,

I first off would like to start this post out with a intimate and devoted shout out to Mr. King David himself, Dave Kabira. Only 11 days after National Coming Out Day, Dave has a big announcement....he's coming out of the underage closet! He will be celebrating his 21st birthday along the sides of his dearest friends. He confirmed a little bit ago, that if someone drops out I will be allowed to come too, but I have to take the L by myself. Still mad fun will happen at some point this weekend.

The Rat Trap (the on-the-spot made-up name of our apartment) has been voted the hottest hangout south of the Arctic circle by Vogue, Vanity Fair, Time, Esquire, and Highlights Magazine. I personally feel blessed Highlights gave us such an intense shout-out in the page directly following their "Hidden Pictures" page...and if you didn't get that reference, then I'm truly sorry for your loss.

This upcoming week will most likely resemble the resurrection of hell on earth, so if there is any truth to this end of world crap, I'm hoping it pops off Sunday night around 2AM....I'm just kidding God, please I don't want the world to end. I'm really hoping that a good portion of mankind is wrong, and I feel like I got the past and logic on my side, so I think I should be good, but still there's that small percentage that I'm wrong. That stuff truly scares the shit out of me, not cause I'm afraid of dying, but because I don't want to go out being wrong...but really I don't want to die.

Did you guys know I can see the statistics of how many people visit this blog? I'm pretty excited with the amount of you who check this. Thank you. Even if you don't read the whole thing, I feel honored enough just to get a link click, and God knowing I would love to click any of your links any day of the week.


I really want to get into the heart of what I'm here to say. I know I mention Nello D (Fintel Diaries) a lot, but every conversation we have is a fairly good one that I feel many other people in this world would enjoy. I was talking to him a while ago about Mel Gibson, and how awesome he use to be. I know all this stuff about him has been going around since the whole Passion of the Christ ordeal, and probably some before that but I have to say I feel for the guy a little. What I'm not saying, is that I condone some of his comments he's made, but he was one of my favorite action actors to watch growing up, and I have a bit of soft spot for him. I once tweeted "If I had two gay dads I would want them to be Martin Riggs and John McClane." (Do you put something in quotes if you said it?) Well, this is completely true, those of you who don't know who that is: Martin Riggs: Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon movies and John McClane: Bruce Willis in Die Hard movies. Those two guys were awesome, they were quintessential insane bad asses, and epidimity of the crazy cool, and I loved it. Some of you who may know me, know that I grew up idolizing Danny Zuko, The Fonz and Uncle Jesse and that's very true. However, these two guys catered to a different side of me, we need the insanity as much as the sanity. 

I not asking much, just read through some of Mel Gibson's quotes on his IMDB trivia page, and maybe you'll see that guy that we have seen in some pretty poor moments (very very poor moments) is most likely insane, but also human.

And if my Number 1: Robert Downey Jr. aka RDJ aka my bees knees can stand by him, I don't have a problem doing it either.

That's all for tonight. Thanks again for not only being a statistic, but a dear friend that is just a number to me on Facebook or Twitter. Love you all.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

P.S. Ms. Al Paul Happy Birthday you are now officially irrelevant...welcome to the club.

This Place Blows Some Times.

Greetings all 4 of you,

Welcome back!

As I sit here at the far left (you're right from the front door) side of the IC front desk, I feel an overwhelming sense of boredom. I am currently trying to finish a wonderful Communication & Ethics paper dealing with the Ethical Question: Was Shephard Fairey ethical in taking "the AP" (really Mannie Garcia's) photo of Barack Obama and turning into that Iconic "HOPE" image that at this point we are all a little sick of. Sort of like those "I <3 NY" shirts or anything having to do with The Beatles or any piece of art Andy Warhol ever made.

The answer is: I really just don't care. Ethically or unethically it doesn't matter to me, because truthfully papers like this you end up worrying more about plagiarizing (which is unethical, by the way) then the content of the paper. This class gives me a headache in places in my head I don't think I even knew I had because there was never any feeling there. I realize this is a definite shit on myself and intelligence, but truth is I feel a lot dumber/lazier after leaving this class. It seems to be that the harder the assignment is, the more likely I am to put it off until the last minute. I jump at the chance for busy work, I get that done weeks in advance.

Now, if anyone in my family is reading this, (Linda, Amber, Dean, etc.) don't worry I'm still going to get my work done...Please don't tell Dad. All I need now, is my father, Mr. Q-U-A-D for David-I-R, calling me up and telling me that I need to focus on my studies and kick ass. I've pissed him off enough in 22 years, he can take a break for a while.

Doing this assignment has been a giant wake-up call to just how shitty people can be in this world. I was just talking to my roommate Nello (The Fintel Diaries) the other day while we were watching Liar, Liar about how crappy people are, and how screwed up our Judicial system is. Now, I know this is nothing new to anyone who's been alive for more than 5 seconds, but still I had to say it. People are pretty crappy sometimes, does anyone remember when that Wal-Mart employee was stomped to death on Black Friday a couple years ago, because a couple hundred crazy ass hicks who can't feed their kids, but want to buy a "cheap" big screen couldn't be civilized enough getting into a store with pretending it's Monster Truck season. Because God knows a flat screen is far more important than a human's life. Not only that, the dude died in a Wal-Mart as their employee, and I bet the first thing they thought of was the lawsuit that they were gonna get because he was their employee and died in their store, not that he had a family or anything or that he just gave up his life for possibly the most pathetic reason on earth. People make you sad in a lot of ways, I may be acting cynical, but I know they have to capacity to be good, so in that respect I got some empty optimism.

and yes, Liar, Liar sparks many deep thoughtful discussions. If more people took the time to analyze it, it would literally rock the frack out of their worlds. Jim Carrey in general, The movies he has been in have dealt with some pretty pressing issues: Fun with Dick and Jane- unemployment, poverty, and social hierarchy, Ace Ventura 1 & 2- animal rights, animal cruelty, Bruce Almighty- faith, spirituality, religion, and love, Liar,Liar- true interpretation of our country's legal system, family problems, and love, The Mask- self-confidence, the out-going person we all wish to be (not just drunk), Dumb and Dumber- youth, ignorance, and the innocent child in all of us, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- heartbreak, love, and relationships, Cable Guy-media control, family problems, and creepy friends, and I Love You, Philip Morris- gay rights, gay community, Gay all the Way!

I learned how to live from Jim Carrey movies, I suggest you start to do the same. Argue with it. I dare you.

I really just want to spend a whole post talking about this, but I feel if I don't limit myself I may go on rant that will never end, and on this topic that would probably be a good thing. To Jamey Rodemeyer and Jamie Hubley, in the words of President Josiah Bartlett (Martin Sheen) from the West Wing, "The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight." I'm truly sorry that you guys couldn't take it anymore, I never could imagine what that must have been like for you, or any other gay teen out there struggling with the same thing. Life truly blows sometimes.

To the bullies out, you get my Fuck You of a lifetime, and I know that's bullying, but I honestly don't give a shit. People's lives are not trivial, just stop.

Mad kudos to Zachary Quinto for coming out of the closet to set an example.

That's all for tonight because, I actually have to do this paper enough to justify saving it until 11:45 PM Thursday night to finish before the 12 AM due date.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

Nostalgia and Other Weird Feelings

Greetings All,

This is officially my second post, and I can already feel my hands hating me from immense amount of time they spend touching a keyboard. If you also thought that sounded a little dirty, you're not alone.

BREAKING NEWS:
 The Fintel Diaries is officially back today, Oct. 14th! hopefully by the time I post this it will be updated, but I'm not making any promises, more so because I know Chris, and his all-star flappery...and Tuna this is what I was talking about.

As this weekends festivities of little to absolutely no productiveness and a whole lot of "fading into darkness" ended, there was a small glimmer of the true beauty that we find so rarely in this world. Christopher Michael DiNello is officially 21! That actually happened 2 days ago, but we don't need to be burdened by that insignificant reality. The kid, that no one thought would ever make it past that tender age of 18, has grown into a slimmer, more confident, sexier, larger kid. Good for you Nello D. As we celebrate his last final relevant birthday this weekend, I'm sure that he will not only look back on his life and think about the vast amount of wasted time, but also about the good times, the small victories, and great memories he will forever have to cherish. In these times of self-reflecting and growing (or for some, lack there of), it's important to understand the power of nostalgia, and all of that bitch feeling, that comes along with it.

As I seamlessly and may I say beautifully transition into this idea of nostalgia, I have to first start off by telling you what I've been doing in the past few weeks. As many of you probably know, and those of you who don't  I don't really care, but Netflix sort of blows. I mean that with no due respect possible. That doesn't mean that I don't use it quite often, I'm just saying they've really done a fantastic job pissing off their customers, which when you're in the business of selling a product, I feel that's sort of... in some ways...not doing what you're suppose to be doing. I don't honestly know, there is a reason I chose film to be my major, and not business. However, Netflix recently has been upping their infamous "Instant Stream," usually cluttered with straight to DVD National Lampoon comedies that middle-schoolers and I just love to watch for the amazing jokes and completely necessary nudity scenes that we never really see coming. Some recently new additions have been Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (Yes, this is not a dream), The Fighter, and the one I'm about to focus heavily on, The Wonder Years.

Those of you who don't know what The Wonder Years is then please walk into on-coming traffic, and ask someone to pull over and explain it to you, because chances are if they can drive they know what it is... I sure am clever, not mean and violent. If not, then I'll break it down for you right quick. This kid, Kevin Arnold, and his two bestee's, one with testess, one without (Winnie Cooper and Paul Pfeiffer) grow up in the late 1960's early 70's as young adolescents in this coming-of-age rom-com show, as they strive to hold onto their childhood while discovering what it means to grow up.

This show makes me cry, pretty much hourly. Not every episode has got a deep message, but every show in some ways you can definitely relate to. Which, you would think would be weird, considering it takes place in the 1960's and 70's and I wasn't born until '89. Periods of life not far in time, but far in change. Regardless, I still seem to take a little something with me with each episode. Nostalgia is a pretty damn good word to use when describing the feeling of this show, It makes you think about things you may have forgotten. However, I have to say Kevin Arnold can be one of the most whiny little bitches on the face of the earth, which I don't think I realized when I was younger watching that show. Maybe, because around the time I was watching it, I was too that whiny little bitch. Still, this show makes me feel good, bad, sad, angry, depressed and I highly recommend everyone and anyone to watch it. It's sort of like anytime I watch Armageddon, I kid you not, I know Harry is going to die, and still I can't freaking believe it. Does anyone else still believe that Bruce Willis died for our sins? Cause I'm not so sure he didn't.

As I so abruptly and not beautifully transition into my next piece of  nostalgic text, I just want to say that I've been reading. Weird for me, I know, but true. Last time I posted for this blog I did it between reading breaks of my favorite book, Catcher in the Rye. By favorite book, I mean that I was able to read the whole thing through without even considering Sparknoting it once. I finally get why, I don't really like Holden Caulfield, I understand him, I think he makes sense in a bullshit kind of way, but I don't really like him. I think he's the part of ourselves we love to hate though. We need that person in us, to know what's shitty, so we can eventually remember what's great. Still this book, makes me go through my "Armageddon-Mood-Swings," very similarly to the Wonder Years. Although, I don't think I'm as cynical as Holden Caulfield, and truth is he's not as cynical as he wants you to believe, but I do think I believe him, and I think in a lot of ways I was as scared as he was about his life. Obviously not for the same reasons, but I could relate in my own way. I have to say to all those phonies out there, keep on doing what you're doing because we need you just as much as the cynical assholes.

I'm not gonna dwell much more on nostalgia and the bitch of growing up, but as I fear the world that might lay in front of me, it's nice to remember. As Kevin Arnold once said, "Ours is a world to careless with its memories." or as Holden Caulfield and I usually do if we don't know what else to do, just cry.

I'm not gonna write much more. I just really want to talk briefly about Drive. Gosling or as we like to call him now "The Sling," this guy can act and be handsome at the same time, and that movie was like a finely tuned car, if ya catch my connection. This movie is mind-blowingly great. James Records told me, that he left that movie feeling different, a feeling that he said he hasn't felt in a long time after leaving a movie. I can concur with that, after just watching it the other day.

If you haven't seen it, go see it. It's worth it, there's some gore, but nothing that our desensitized minds can't handle. One scene there's boobs and gore, which is sort of cool, but I had a hard time watching that part even with the boobs, the gore is over fairly quickly though.

That soundtrack is perfect. It's been playing on the reg in the "Rat Trap"aka our apartment. This has been very long, sorry If I kept you. Hope all your days are filled with nostalgia, gore, and boobs.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

P.S. UPDATE: Nello said the post should be in around 6, not sure if that's at night or morning, but check at some point today.