Anti-Naked Celebs, Crappy Celebrities, and One that is both.

Greetings to all,

This weekend marks the return of a great institution the DDC, those of you who don't know what that is...good, you are not suppose to. Those of you who do, you are far ahead of the game. This semester is already half way done, but I'm not getting down just yet on being a senior, there is still plenty of time to get shit done.

Tonight I would like to start off with celebrities and why them getting leaked naked pictures is messing up this fantasy for the world. We want to see celebrities naked because they are beautiful and seeing beautiful people naked is up there with hitting a home run to win the World Series, winning a noble peace prize or  fantasy baseball, and solving the world's hunger and peace problems.

SIDE NOTE: Do you people know that world's population is up to 7 billion...Pro-Choice is starting to look more like an inevitable public service.

Back to what I was saying. It's awesome to see Celebrities that we "know" and "love" naked on screen, and hopefully doing something sexy, because we all know from It's Always Sunny, "Ya gotta make it sexy." However, in recent years the trend to hack celebs phones and steal celebrity sex tapes has gotten big. Let's name a few Scarlett Johannsson, Blake Lively, Vanessa Hudgens, Rhianna, Her Ike- Chris Brown, Greg Oden...(DAMN!), Grady Sizemore, Justin Timberlake, Kim Kardashian, Erin Andrews (...nice), etc.

There have already been so many, and there will probably be many more. With the exception of Erin Andrews, I'm going to say that every one of these people deserve it. They can be mad all they want, but truth is after the first hack which I think was Vanessa Hudgens, you would probably start being a little more safe about naked pictures or videos. I don't know, just a thought. Don't leave naked pictures of yourself on your phone, it's really not that hard. Unless your Nello and like to walk people through your gallery (they're pretty good).

Not only are you screwing it up for yourself, but your screwing it up for the rest of us. I don't want to see this "half-assed" naked pictures of celebrities...I mean I will look, but I don't want to. I want to see you in a scene and in the heat of the moment, regardless of it's genuineness, it is real to me. Also, the mystery is part of the attraction. Monsters Ball, Swordfish, Black Swan all are amazing exactly for what they are, and there limites on what was shown.The best part of going to a R-rated movie when  you know there is a sex scene, is that they're not showing everything, but still awesome enough to get excited.

So I say to all of you celebrities out there that may have a naked picture of yourself on your phone. Please delete it, the world doesn't need to know your secrets. We only want to fantasize about them, and you think I'm wrong. One of the saddest realization a person has is when they find out their favorite celebrity is human, these naked pics is giving them a human side.

And TMZ, please die. You ruin celebrities everyday for the rest of us.

My next piece of agenda, is celebrities that really suck at life. I know I already wrote about the Lohan's, and my convictions stay true to them, but there are some more that definitely need to be mentioned. The ones I  dislike are Tila Tequila, Paris Hilton, Snooki, Sammy Sweetheart and Ronnie (every one else on that show is awesome), and of course Kim Kardashian.

Now, I've "kept up with the Kardashians" in the past, but they suck at life so hard it physically hurts me. I'm pretty sure I would get intense migraines every time I passed the E channel and their show was on. I've never seen worse "actresses" in my life, and I use that term because clearly they are as genuine as the show they are on, and they can't even act genuine which is equally if not more sad. I think reality TV is the reason we have girls getting pregnant at the age of 13, which lead to shows like "16 and pregnant." People will do anything to get their 5 minutes of fame. I understand people like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian worked hard to live off their family name too, but this shit with Kim Kardashian getting divorce just really pushed me over the edge.

For the longest time I can't sit and watch TV without some bullshit about Chris Humphries and Kim Kardashian getting married, and how important they made it sound to how little I cared was ridiculous in difference. Still I'm going to get this shoved down my throat until they were married, and I thought fine at least its done. Then you end it 72 days after the wedding, so now all I have to hear about is your divorce

I think it was Paul who said to Peter "The sanctity of marriage is valid only after the first 73 days."

Those of you who still believe in the sanctity of marriage, and how gays should not be allowed to wed even if they love each other for more than 72 days. Why not let other people try and break Kim Kardashian's record? Who's it gonna hurt?

SHOUT OUTS:
- To Nello D apparently there will be another Fintel Diaries soon
- To Griff Rebecca and all the awesomeness that comes with each almost "moment"
- and the DDC let's get artsy.

That's all for tonight. I hope you all don't look at leaked naked pictures unless it's from a movie, and please Occupy Logic cause we are letting people like Kim Kardashian run the world.

Night, Nite, Knight,
JAY KOO

(for Chris Capades)