Cleveland is the reason I'm...well...

Hi,

I, like many others, have the habit of starting things without really finishing them. I have about 50 ideas which are "half baked" and sitting in the "oven." Even when I have a M.O.M sesh with Tuna and Nello, it's just three guys with all the same mentality. "That sounds awesome, we should do it." Well, Shit never gets done. Ever. So I have to say I'm proud of myself  for keeping up with this small testament to the person that is Jarrad aka The Knight Ranger.

Tonight, I would like to focus on the magnificent city of Cleveland and all the greatness that entails.

I was born in Columbia, Maryland then moved to Columbia, South Carolina from there I moved to Cleveland, Ohio. By the time I got to Cleveland I was about 5, I'm not sure of the actual date. So for 13 years or so I grew up in Cleveland, literally kindergarten through 12th grade- Clevelander. Like many of the people I grew up with they were in the same situation, except most of them born there.

Cleveland is not a bad place, hopes don't die there, the water isn't toxic, the homeless population isn't too ridiculous, and the sports teams aren't all that bad...disappointing maybe, but not bad. I find it funny that I grew up in Cleveland because I feel that who I am is pretty reflective of the city itself. It's like we always come so close to greatness than lose.

This is not a pity party for Cleveland or myself, it's just reality. Don't feel bad for us, because we don't want it. I have had some truly great moments in Cleveland, and the city itself has had some of its own. Rockefeller, I'm pretty sure that guy did some shit, I know he had a lot of money. You know how at night when you're outside and the street lights go on....You're welcome. Cleveland didn't invent electricity, but was the first city to have outside lights illuminate its streets. We did some stuff with steel, we have the Rock'N'Roll Hall of Fame, a giant ass FREE stamp, and The Flats use to be a hotter hangout spot then all of New York, Chicago, and LA combined.

Although we do like to choke in the most inopportune moments ever, we still have some great sports. Game 1 Playoff series against the Yankees in 2007, I was there with Jimmy "Beanbags" Razzante and some of the other Razzante fam. They not only won, but they spanked those pretentious New Yorkers in a final score of 12 to 3. Or that 99 yard TD play between Jeff Garcia and Andre Davis. I was there with Nate "Ladybug" Tritt and his dad. Did you know there have only been 12 99-yard pass plays in the history of the NFL, at least that is what Wikipedia says, and I believe 'em. Every Cavs game with He Who Must Not Be Named, sometimes, sort of. My first Indians game ever ended when one of my favorite Indians of all time, Travis Fryman, blasted a solo walk-off to the bleachers in the bottom of the ninth.We have some true moments of greatness that tend to not be executed that well down the line where it matters, but still true.

Movies have a lot to thank us for. Paul "Pretty Eyes" Newman for one, You're welcome. Drew Carey, can you say "Whose Line is it Anyway?" No, well don't worry because the "Price is Right," bitch. Halle Berry, Bob Hope, Arsenio Hall, Kid Cudi, Bone Thugs, Anthony and Joe Russo- without them there would be no Arrested Development, Molly Shannon aka Superstar, Chip the Ripper, Stephen Gyllenhaal- without him there would be no Jake (let's ignore the other one for sake of argument). Let us not forget the movies themselves. There would be no Superman (of any kind), no Fortune Cookie, no Happy Gilmore, no Raging Bull, no Air Force One ,any Major Leagues, no hot 2012 release of The Avengers, and of course NO CHRISTMAS STORY.

Can you imagine your Christmas without a TBS filled day of A Christmas Story playing on repeat for 24 hours straight, because I can't, and I sure as hell don't want to live in a world that can.

I'm the first one to shit on Cleveland, but truth is we've got it. Once we figure out what "it" is we're gonna be a force to be reckoned with. So, I am officially ridding the city of that bastard name given to us, "The Mistake on the Lake," and giving it a new name "The Cake on the Lake," because everyone wants a piece!

So you see like my city, I don't always perform best in high pressure situations, I'm not always gonna please you or win just to make you happy, but we'll always come through in the long run. We will never turn our back on anyone, even if they turn their back on us.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad