Fighting for Love

Welcome back,

After a week of being on Thanksgiving vacation in sunny Cleveland, Ohio (no joke, it was pretty damn nice out this past week) I have returned to my knightly duties, and am prepared to take on all and any tasks that shall fall ahead. That being said, I am dead tired right now and am counting down the seconds it will take until I can leave, which completely contradicts what I just said. I forgot how awesome regular sleep was until this past week. Regardless, I am here and ready to...desk attend.

There is some big news happening this week. A post from this blog is going from the digital world to print. After a stressful and intense negotiation process between the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, LA Times and the Loyola Phoenix... The Phoenix has won the contract to the Knight Shift Blog. Which basically means the Diversions Editor, Molly Raskin, asked me if she could use my "We Think and Do" post in (I think) this weeks Phoenix, which comes out today (Wednesday) at some point. Which in all honesty I am honored, so Thank You Molly and the rest of the Phoenix.

Tonight before work, I watched Warrior with Little Jimmy Records, August, Zeno, and Dave. This movie is about two brothers who compete against each other in some mixed martial arts tournament called Spartan (UFC type shit) for 5 million dollars. Tom Hardy (Tommy Conlon) and Joel Edgerton (Brendan Conlon)  do a great job in this movie, and by the end of it you don't really know who you are rooting for. Its one of those really manly-love types of movies, so if you don't feel like crying over a emotional and intense cage match, then I would direct your attention else where, perhaps Ready to Rumble. August wanted one of them to win, and was pissed when the results didn't come out as he hoped (trying not to spoil anything). Regardless, the last ten minutes or so of the movie get really intense, and I think I may be tired from coming down from that adrenaline high. The only way I think this movie could have improved, like many movies, is if they had a cameo appearance from the "Godsling"... Yea, that guy.

The movie deals with a family torn apart by rage, alcohol, and domestic violence which undoubtedly helped them get to main stage of this event, so even bad moments make for great opportunities. They are a dysfunctional family, and after a week where we all got together with our own dysfunctional families or, like I said, just family It makes you feel a little bit better about your own situation.

In some ways,  you hope your cool enough like Tom Hardy or Joel Edgerton to love your brother enough to beat the livin' shit out of him only to love them even more after. Which raises an interesting notion...maybe a controlled type of violence is good.  Because maybe, just maybe if we approached our family problems with violence ( I mean a good old fashion american ass-whooping) then maybe we could deal with each other better and our problems wouldn't seem like such a big deal anymore. I'm not saying go out there and kill each other, we still love each other and want to see each other live and prosper. However, sometimes a good ass-whoopin or better yet ass-beating will probably make you realize what someone else is saying. I will say I think about beating up my Grandma sometimes, but just like in the movie, a cage match where somehow we were "evenly" matched. Obviously I would never touch her, because 1.)  I would easily destroy her and it wouldn't even be fair, 2.) She would take it way too personally and 3.) that's probably pretty mean. I would do it not because she makes me angry, but because I feel that I would love her even more after. Its all for love, just like Tommy and Brendan Conlon, they had to beat the crap out of each other to really get past their problems.

In my whole family, I would say I am closest to my brother. That's probably because we spent the better half of the past couple decades beating the ever lovin' shit out of each other. I wouldn't say that I have any built up anger from him, because I got it out in the mostly ass-beating I received, even though I got some shots in there. The people I do have the most problems with, I am not allowed to beat up or they won't beat me up. Which sucks because I feel like this would be a great opportunity to start fresh and beat the shit out of each other.

I have some rules though for this fight though:

5.) No Cops- If you lose, suck it up don't run to police and say you got abused.
4.) There has to be a mediator (a ref ) and a controlled environment- just like a boxing match, there will be rounds and time limits. Preferably a steel cage for theatrical purposes, but for realistic purposes some pillows, blankets, and mattresses spread across the floor of an empty room probably could work too.
3.) Both parties have to agree to the fight- there will be no surprise attacks on any one person, both people
will be just as involved in the decision to fight as the fight itself.
2.) No killing- This is for love, so please remember that you don't want these people dead. Dead is bad.
1.) Done is Done- When the fight is over, you leave all your problems on the mat and you start fresh. Hug it out.

That's the ideal world we live in. Too bad for all these stupid laws and ethical decisions holding us back. Anyway that's it for tonight, I hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving, and I encourage you to speak with your family about possible family rumble royals.

Watch Warrior if  your into movies like that, I personally don't like UFC, but enjoyed the theatricality behind this movie. Which could be the most unmanly statement I've made in this blog...probably not.

One more thing...

I would like to say that the comedic world lost a giant on Monday (literally 6'5'' 300 lbs.). Unless you don't pay attention to life, Patrice O'Neal just passed away at the too young age of 41. Patrice you will be sorely missed and your stand ups will forever be top ten material. May you Rest in Peace.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad