Attention: Awesomeness needs to be Noticed.

Hello all,

WARNING:
If you haven't watched the Oscars and are planning to, don't read this. Its sort of a spoiler, but its a show and it happened tonight , and I want to talk about the cool things I liked from it.

Tonight I watched the Oscars, well most of it. From the last Oscar post to this post, there have been some very cool things that happened tonight.

First off, Sacha Baron Cohen although I don't find your completely, ridiculous, over-the-top, movies that you come out with every couple of years that funny. I do have to say, that you spilling "ashes" on Ryan Seacrest, was awesome. Not only because celebrities are vain, and you know he was completely bothered by that, but also because Ryan Seacrest has to be the most powerful man in Hollywood. The man has his fingers in so many money-making pots it's not even funny. Not to mention he is like 5'4''. That is power, apparently in Hollywood you don't need to be tall.

Secondly, Brett McKenzie won the award for best original song for his work in the movie The Muppets. Kudos to him, and all Flight of the Conchords fans. I bet no one would have ever thought that he would win an Oscar. Me included.

Tonight, The Descendants won for "Best Writing, Adapted Screenplay." When this happened, it was pretty cool. I liked this movie, the Artist didn't win because well dialogue wasn't big in it, and its nice to see one movie not win everything. Even though one sort of did.

The three people that won this award were the Director: Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, and Jim Fash. Now, Alexander Payne has some solid movie credits on his resume, About Schmidt, Sideways, Election, just to name a few. For him to win makes sense. The other two on the other hand, are somewhat of wild, non-conventional winners. Nat Faxon plays the ugly, douchey dude in many movies including Broken Lizards: Club Dread, Orange County, Bad Teacher, Zoo Keeper, and Beerfest. If any of you would have foreseen an Oscar win for this guy, I would've thought you were bat-shit crazy. But he killed it, and he won, and that is truly frickin' awesome.

The second guy to win, is Jim Fash. Who is insanely popular amongst Community fans (Which is coming back in March!). He is the dean, and an extremely hilarious yet creepy individual in the show. Once again not a conventional winner by Hollywood standards. After Angelina Jolie came out, and posed in what has to be the most obnoxious pose known to man. It was like when a woman is past her prime, but can't seem to let go of the past so tries to overcompensate by highlighting her best features with a strikingly-pathetic pose (Not to say Angelina Jolie isn't still good-looking. She's definitely still got it). I really applauded the moment when Jim Fash proceeded to mock her by striking the same pose, while she was still on the stage, watching him win an Oscar. Nothing better than A-Listers getting shit on.

The amount of Awesomness that happened this weekend can't be handled by anyone. Those not-as-well known actors got theirs tonight, and I couldn't be happier about it.

There were obviously some big names that won, and that's awesome too. But I'm chalking up this Oscars night as a win for the little guy, regardless if people don't think Billy Crystal is relevant, he did a good job.

By the way for those of you who know, I won Friday night. My night was full of winning, the only thing I remember all night was winning. That's how I'm telling that story...but really a sincere apology to the Haus and thank you for putting up with me. ;o)

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

I Meant to?

Greetings,

I am now handing out free "Bump its-4-Life," It holds a life time guarantee with no expiration date. My "bumps" are like Twinkies, they're creamy, delicious, and most of all they will survive a nuclear holocaust.


I'm going to talk about this movie that I just recently watched called The Adjustment Bureau. After being directed to it's origin the short story The Adjustment Team by Philip K. Dick (heh) from friend Eric Williamson. I felt as if this movie, story waranted some attention. Now, what that attention might be, I'm not sure. But it will get some sort of attention now.

I just watched this the other day, and I was happy to actually enjoy it. I feel like these movies when you see their trailers tend to be a decorated piece of shit or more so a over compensating action-flick. These days most movies tend to sacrifice either depth or entertainment, so when one does actually come along its a pleasant surprise.

First off, this movie isn't perfect. It tends to tip-toe that fine line between emotionally uplifting and cheesy pretty steadily throughout its entirety, occasionally drunkenly stumbling to the cheesy side. Regardless, I found it to be entertaining, and somewhat thought provoking with a pretty solid acting job by Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, and Anthony Mackle.

The movie revolves around these two people who are not suppose to end up together, but somehow continue to meet up with one another. They are constantly drawn to one another without really knowing how or why, somewhat serendipitous if you will. The Adjustment Bureau is a team of what I assume is only men that walks amongst us, and keep us all on the right "path," which is predetermined  by "The Chairman." These two fight to be with one another even though they are not meant to be with one another. It's a love story wrapped up in the wonders of life and death. There are many metaphorical meanings and symbols within this movie, but  I really want to get into just the main idea.

I'm not going to tell you how the movie ends, because I hold true to my Non-Spoiler promise on this blog, but the way it ends really makes you think about your own "path." How much say we have in our own lives and how much time we really have. My main dude, Matt Bomer, recently appeared in the movie In Time with Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried, which has to deal with having a set clock and literally "buying time" to stay alive. I didn't see the movie, but still it has similarities that we can't deny.

This is something that we think about on a daily basis without ever really realizing it. Without thinking about it we would have no regret or doubt towards any decisions we make in our lives. If we are on a set path, then was I suppose to drink that orange juice this morning? What am I going to eat tomorrow? If I eat one thing over the other, will I be famous one day? Will I be alive long enough to see my fame come to fruition, or am I going out like Harry Stamper? (I've made sooooo many Armageddon references in this blog, it's got to be the world record for Armageddon references ever, I'm going to go back and count them all up.)

Seriously, I do find this to be a staggering topic of interest. Because if we chose to do something in order to not go with our desired plan, then that's just part of the plan. We think were four steps ahead they're 25 steps ahead of that. The Adjustment Bureau could be related to Guardian Angels, but its not as clear cut as them protecting us, they more so align us. They keep us on the path, and if we die, then that was the end of our path.

So all of you people out there who hate living by a plan, it's possible that that idea and thought process all along was apart of your plan. Irony at it's finest. I guess I'm not even sure I know what I believe. I think I want to believe in free will and our ability to make our own paths, and I want to think I'm strong enough for that responsibility, but I don't know if I am. I'm afraid I may be on my path only because I don't know how to live my own life.

So I ask you to think about that. Are you strong enough to live your life on your own, or do you need assistance of a path? Is that the sad reality I may make you realize? Possibly. If it is then it could just be...part of the plan...

Bah. Bah. Bah............INCEPTION!

It's one of those permanent rhetorical questions. I just asked about the greatest secret of life with no real hope for an honest answer, just some strong insightful debate, and our quest to understand is our stride as human beings in endless yet ridiculously epic game of duck, duck, goose.

Congratulations to Mat on hitting his mark. Thank you to all of you who donated, and to those of you who even considered.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

Oscars are in the Air

Hello everyone,

To update you all on my weekend, the weekend of Mardi Gras...Nothing happened. I stayed in Chicago with a few others to not celebrate Mardi Gras due to work that had to get done. Don't worry though, I got a great play by play of everyone's awesome weekend via Facebook. So thank you for that.

On a brighter note, The widely anticipated screenplay "Old Friends" is now in the early stages of production. After a long 2 days, 2/7th of the film has been shot. We look forward to popping this baby out in the next couple of weeks so stay tuned.

Another website, that I just recently found on reddit, is Retronaut if you're a fan of photography, retro styles applied to present trends, and old people when they are young then this is a pretty awesome website. I have yet to be bored by it, which is saying not much. My personal favorite was the Lesbian Pulp Fiction section, not exactly what I thought it was going to be when I first saw it, but I was pleasantly surprised. I would like to read one these.

This is also one of the cooler videos I watched.


It's amazing the shit we can do with film these days. There's a Woman one too you can watch, but I liked the Man one more just cause I thought it flowed better together. Speaking of which the Oscars are rapidly approaching and will air February 26th 7 EST./ 6 CEN.

The Oscars are usually a pretty big bust, year after year all we hear about is the Academy's attempt to bring in a younger audience, but they continue to snub good movies and then highlight great movies that aren't that interesting. After the James Franco and Anne Hathaway epic fail, they've decided to bring hosting duties back to Billy Crystal. Thank you Academy.

I like Billy Crystal, and contrary to popular belief I don't think you have to put a young face as the host of an award show to bring a younger audience. Just put someone up there who doesn't make you feel awkward reading the teleprompter, and who's every joke doesn't feel like its scripted. Billy Crystal is good at that, he makes you feel comfortable. Actors are awkward enough without hosting duties, we need someone to break that tension and not make a show that is pretty awesome so awful.

It seems like they try and overdue it every year, and now They've put ten nominees in best picture category to what? Make it more of mystery as to who is going to win? Drive suspense? No, add movies that more people have seen so that if they like that movie there's a chance it might win. In reality, everyone knows who the frontrunners are, and know the ones that don't stand a chance. Like Toy Story 3 last year, a family animation was never going to win.

I am lucky enough to have seen 6 of the 10 and hopefully before Sunday, I will have seen the other 4. It's not likely that I will do it, but I can try. The ones I have seen though have all been good, and for once I can't really disagree with any of them being in the run. This is coming from a guy who often quotes movies like Armageddon and Old School, so perhaps I'm not the best judge of movie. Still all you really need is a pulse to realize The Artist is going to most likely run away with most of the awards, just like one movie does pretty much every year. I find that to be the most boring part of the Oscars, one group winning all of the major ones. They want to make it better throw us a few curve balls.

I haven't seen The Artist by the way, but I've heard only good things. Mainly that there is no dialogue, so don't be like some people in France and go see the movie only to get pissed off and demand your money back after you realize its a silent film.

Martin Scorsese's Hugo is also a wonderful movie, and its the only movie that I can honestly say I appreciate its appropriate use of 3-D. James Cameron apparently agrees with me, which is weird cause I never met the guy. Every other movie that likes to implement 3-D into their marketing plan, I think you need to stop distracting people from your shitty movie... I'm talking to you, Piranha 3-D.

And Star Wars Episode I in 3-D. I only ask why? Out of all Star Wars movies made, why pick that one? Why not one of the good ones? I actually don't know if they can use one of the good ones, but if you can, you should, because that one is the least shitty of the three shitty movies. The only thing good about them is Natalie Portman.

Thank You Christopher Nolan, for telling his executives to shove it when asked to make The Dark Knight Rises in 3-D.

"...Ive seen work in 3D like Avatar that’s exciting. But, for me, what was most exciting about Avatar was the creation of a world, the use of visual effects, motion capture, performance capture, these kinds of things. I don’t think Avatar can be reduced to its 3D component, it had so much more innovation going on that’s extremely exciting. 3D has always been an interesting technical format, a way of showing something to the audience. But you have to look at the story you’re telling: is it right?”

That, my friends, is a respectful way of him saying, "Listen, Avatar looked cool, but the story blew. Batman already looked cool and the story was awesome. So I'm not going to treat my audience like they're 5 and distract them with pretty lights and blue people. I'm not doing 3-D and you can piss off."

That is all for tonight, I hope you all try and catch up on your movie watching before Sunday, becausethere are some great movies that are actually entertaining for all.

Also, I've been annoying with this. But this is my good friend's movie and if you already donated thank you, and if not please do. He's only got til Thursday, and this will make his movie really happen. There are kids at his school with insane budgets of $10,000 or more only because they are either filthy rich or know a lot of filthy rich people. If he makes this movie for only $4,000 and it even compares to their movies (which I have no doubt it will, and so much more) well I think that's a win for all of us little guys out there, and a giant middle finger to the 1%. So I ask once again, if you can spare the 5 dollars or so please do. He's less than 500 dollars away. I read the script, It's awesome. He won't fail you, he doesn't know how.

Click to Donate

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

 

Interracial Duos

Hi,

After reading into the Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man for class tomorrow, I feel as if this is one of the more interesting things I have read. An invisible man not because of any actual super human ability to be invisible, but because he is a black man and goes unnoticed. I'm not going to sit here and layout all that I read about it, but it definitely is a racially heavy text that anyone living in America could appreciate for the sole fact that we deal with race on a daily basis.

Today, its treated much differently than when this books take place, interracial  and in Hollywood's attempt to make it alright to be "black or white," they have heavily placed upon us viewers numerous interracial duos that will forever be a important part to our pop culture history.

In honor of that and a month that celebrates black history, I applaud the media's attempt to make interracial duos that somewhat like to leave race at the door, and show us that we can work together, no matter our color. Positive messages! If you think these duos are a racist depiction of how Hollywood sees people like this, then just know you're not alone, but I'm going to ignore that for the sake of doing this list.

I have comprised a list of 10 interracial duos that I see to be awesome. It does not mean that there aren't more, but these are the ones that have had the most impact on my life.

10.) Alex and Kelly Robinson (Owen Wilson and Eddie Murphy) - I Spy

This is a complete fan favorite of the Rat Trap. It is widely loved and admired, and for that Owen Wilson and Eddie murphy get this pick. This is a great sleeper movie and their relationship of 2nd string spy and egotistical boxer make for a sweet pairing. They are the "Guilty Pleasure" Pick.

9.) Agent K and Agent J (Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith) - Men In Black

These two don't make a lot of sense to me why they work, they're both way out of each others generations, but something about an old rough, white guy and a young smooth, black guy sure made for one hell of an alien fighting duo. They are the "Out of this World" Pick.

8.) Shawn and Gus (James Roday and Dule Hill) - Psych

These two are the newest to the group seeing as I just got into this show last year. With each passing episode, I feel as if their relationship can only grow stronger. The two of them alone have gotten me hooked on this show, with their witty banter they are the Gilmore Girls of Boys. They are the "Up-and-Coming" Pick.

7.) Boone and Yoast  & Campbell and Bertier (Denzel Washington and Will Patton & Wood Harris and Ryan Hurst) - Remember the Titans

This is somewhat cheating, but I wanted to combine them because its the same movie, and I couldn't pick which one duo I liked better. This movie is one of my favorite sports movies. Like its characters it shows heart throughout the entire thing. A great movie about interracial intolerance and the long strides it took to get to where it is today. This is my "Peace Train" Pick. (If you don't understand, re-watch the movie).










6.) Harold and Kumar (John Cho and Kal Penn) - Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle

This movie became the half baked of the new generation. Highlighting stereotypes, race, and dumb americans these two were ordinary people thrown into an extraordinary journey. These two together work for the same reasons so many others on this list do, one is the rock and the other is the free spirit, but they embody that relationship better than anyone else. They were some of the first to poke fun at the ignorance of people post 9/11,They are the "Post 9/11" Pick.

5.) Troy and Abed ( Donald Glover and Danny Pudi) - Community

Troy and Abed are amazing, that's pretty much it. Each line is amazing between the two, and they tend to understand each other better than anyone else can understand either of them. They are hilariously weird. They are the "Gotta Love 'Em" Pick.




4.) Vega and Winnfield (John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson) - Pulp Fiction

These two are forever iconic. The chemistry between these two is undoubtablely the most interesting dynamic of characters ever. They work together, but don't really know each other. It's not until Vega doesn't have Winnfield anymore that he gets mowed down. Ruthless yet poetic, these two know how to control a scene. They are my "Bad Ass Mother Fuckers" Pick.


3.) Murtaugh and Riggs (Danny Glover and Mel Gibson) - Lethal Weapon

These two fell into this situation, and blossomed from it. Put into the most extreme of situations, they grew to trust one another out of need for one another. These two killed it together, and those movies as ridiculous as they may be, are probably going to happen. They are my "Partners-4-Life" Pick.





2.) Carter and Lee (Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan) - Rush Hour

It's no secret that Rush Hour was probably my favorite movie for the better half of a decade, I have the worn out VHS to prove it. These two's cultures are what make them the most different yet most compatible. They are my "East-to-West" Pick.





1.) J.D. and Turk (Zach Braff and Donald Faison) - Scrubs

Anyone who has known me for more than 5 minutes knows this would be my number one. I want to be the missing Carmel Bear, but I don't because it would ruin their relationship that they have now. The fact I know they are great friends off screen makes it that much better. They know what a true bro-mance is all about. They are my "Guy Love" Pick.




Some Honorable Mentions
Arnold and Gerald- Hey Arnold
Red and Deufresne - Shawshank Redemption
Doug and Skeeter- Doug (Skeeter was black, let's face it)
Quinn and Yaz - Double Team
Montgomery and Lafferty- National Security
Monroe and Hodges - Cop Out

These are mine, think about yours. If you don't have any then, Wow you're incredibly weak. Michael Jackson embraced "Black and White" so much he tried them both out in his lifetime, that is showing dedication.

Also, my guy! Matt Bomer publicly came out recently. Even though we all pretty much knew, good for him and his embrace. Good for him and his family.

That is all for tonight until next week, where I will be back on my regular schedule.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

"Bittersweet Memories"

Hello everybody,

Due to recent events, the original blog post that I was going to do tonight is now going to be pushed back until tomorrow night. Mainly, because it's so in depth that it deserves its own posting. Also, I should let you know that what I just said is not an error, I will be posting again tomorrow night, because I traded shifts with one of my fellow Knights just for this week.

I want to start out with talking about Dylan Barnes. Did anyone else know this guy is the third manliest man alive, according to Old Spice. That is astonishing to me, not because I don't believe it, but because for once a competition came close to what I expected (I thought number one, but I'll settle for three). This guy is manly, the manliest man that I have ever known. If you don't believe me take a look at this piece of autographed memorabilia that I got tonight from him.

That's right people, It's real and I've got an authentic autograph of it. He didn't buy those, they were made for and then given to him.

On a much sadder and not at all well transitioned note, Whitney Houston passed away on Saturday at the young age of 48.

The 54th Annual Grammys aired tonight, and it was pretty normal, at least the parts I watched. Adele cleaned house, and I guess that's pretty impressive, but its always got to be someone, so why not her. People called her fat, and now she has got six Grammys... If that's not the best "Fuck You" you can give someone then I don't know what is. The night really shined though, when Jennifer Hudson performed "I Will Always Love You" in a last minute planned tribute to her fallen idol.

Regardless of your opinion of the woman, it's pretty undeniable her impact on music and its artists. Not only did she have a beautiful voice, but two of her songs are in my top two favorite songs of all time...........

Those of course being "I Will Always Love You" and "I Wanna Dance With Somebody," When people tend to think of love songs "I Will Always Love You" is probably one of the first songs that come mind, either that or "Unchained Melody." Still I'm not picky, I love all my love songs, but that one is by far the most beautiful, for those of you who don't know, that song is from The Bodyguard. A movie about a former secretive service agent (Costner) who is hired to protect a pop singer (Houston) from some crazed shitty stalker fan, guy (Arana). The movie isn't anything special, but if you watch to end I guarantee a tear or two when that lengthy ballad fades in. I even know its coming and still can't seem to shield my heart strings from its power plucks.

"I Wanna Dance With Somebody" being number 2 on that last, is definitely as happier side to Whitney, and brings about the longing for fun and excitement in young girls life. All she wants to do is dance with somebody! DANCE! If there's any message I can get through in life, its that I want someone to dance with. I'm not being metaphoric or anything, dance does not = life, dance = dance. Dancing is fun, plain and simple. Go to person I want to dance with... Tuna, because we read each other out there on that dance floor and just let our hair down like a couple of school girls who just don't care.
 Let us never forget her pertinent role to American Psycho and Patrick Bateman's "Killing Spree."

Patrick Bateman: Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP, called simply Whitney Houston had 4 number one singles on it? Did you know that, Christie?
Elizabeth: [laughing] You actually listen to Whitney Houston? You own a Whitney Houston CD? More than one?
Patrick Bateman: It's hard to choose a favorite among so many great tracks, but "The Greatest Love of All" is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation, dignity. Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it's not too late to better ourselves. Since, Elizabeth, it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really. And it's beautifully stated on the album. 

 

I don't think Whitney could have said it better herself. Even though he continued to murder both girls after having sex with them. Christian Bale gets it!

Whitney sure had her fair share of troubles with drugs and domestic violence, but who hasn't these days? Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston put domestic violence on the map, hard to do. So when she sang "Bittersweet memories is all I'm taking with me," it actually made some sense. She had a great life in the public, and was adored by her fans, but at home she clearly had some issues. Just like the song though, "I Will Always Love You," Whitney. Thank you for giving my ears the best audio orgasm anyone could ever ask for.

I will leave you with this picture of me dancing in London to "I Wanna Dance with Somebody,"... alone. I think she was with me in spirit...

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

Pre and Post Post

Greetings folks,

It has occured to me that I haven't updated you guys on what is going in the IC in a while, and after all it definitely is a portion of what this blog is, so I guess I should do that...nothing. Still, so don't think you're missing out on anything. Most interesting thing to happen was a flash mob, but I won't go into more detail, because the cons far outweighed the pros on that one.

One may ask what do I do here at work to pass time, other than this blog? That is a good question and thank you for asking. Truth is, I really don't do much. I guess I take a walk around the floor every hour or so, but with no real intention in mind, push some chairs, pick up some trash after real filthy people.

You would think I get a lot of homework done too, but truth is I have my nights with it. Either I'm just not in the mood, which is usually the nights I have insane amount of homework or I'm very much so in the mood and I have none. Regardless, I don't like doing homework ever, but I do find it useful for getting ahead on homework more so then completing it. I like to start homework but just getting stuff down on a page feels better than nothing, so its usually shit but my thought process is "I can technically turn this in right now if I had to." I never do, I go back later and fix it, but its good to get the rough cut out of the way here.

More so, I bet you're wondering what I do on the internet. Well, contrary to popular belief there are things out there other than Facebook to kill time. I don't want to pull a Tuna and let my well-known fact about me be that I'm "awesome at Facebook." I enjoy it just fine, but I don't need it to be life. Twitter is great, but you go through that pretty quickly when you weave out the shitty tweets, and you then you realize no one you are following is tweeting at this hour so it dies pretty quickly.

Even though I hate to admit it, Reddit is a pretty good sight. If you are bored, it's so heavily updated that its practically impossible to get bored on that site. I mostly stick to the "pics" and "funny" categories, because both take little thought to understand. Now, I don't want to be known as a Redditor though, I don't want to be them. It's creepy like a cult  is creepy, they just love when they are out in the real world and see something having to do with Reddit and than get this Reddit-Rager on and think its the most interesting thing ever. Now this shit with Memes and "Shit people say..." has taken over the internet faster than that "Two Girls, One Cup" video, and personally I'd take the latter. I find it more entertaining and a lot easier to stomach, which I think says a lot about me...

Reddit has given me topics for this blog, so I thank it for that. But more so than anything else in the world   that Reddit has done for me is THIS. Please click it, and I dare you to not finish the whole thing. They are so much fun and I find my self laughing like Ron "F******" Swanson the entire time I'm doing it, which by far has to be the best laugh to personality combination in the history of television, ever.

Here's a list of some other websites I like to visit:

I Watch Stuff  (Scott Zimmerman)
This is Why I'm Broke (reddit)- I feel like I need it, and without it, I'm not enough.
Pearls Before Swine - Not a huge comic guy, but I do like this one.
Geekologie -(Scott Zimmerman)
Is it Christmas? - (Eric, Sean, and Ryan aka CVS Apartment), not to ruin the surprise, but apparently No, it's not christmas. I don't know how long that'll last though, so you should check back tomorrow.
Some E-Cards -These are always great.
Sporcle- just a classic time waster.
Text Twist - You know I love my jumbles, WHAT?!

And of course my king of websites forever and ever and ever
I.M.D. MOTHER FLIPPIN B

Also, I would just like to say to any of you Scrubs fans out there who are still in straight denial about how that show ended, I direct you towards Psych. Because that show makes me giggle in only that special way Scrubs could, and Parks and Rec is moving into that slot too.
Don't Frug with Drugs!

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

iStrain

Greetings,

As I sit here staring at a computer screen for the 90th straight hour, I feel as if I should warn you all my eyes have started to bleed, and I can no longer recognize the color blue. Working on a computer is pretty bad for your eyes apparently, especially when you do it in excess. Now, I spend my entire time on the computer while at work, because that is our toy to use while we work. I even read on the computer, because I'm greeneco-friendly and I find it important not to waste paper, even though I do so on many occasions in fact waste paper. I've been known to dabble with some doodles from time to time.

Regardless, the amount of time I am staring at screen that is lit and burning holes into the back of my eyes, black holes where dreams go to die, is starting to become a bit of an issue.

This weekend including right now, I spent roughly 26.5 hours just staring at computer screen doing work (its actually pretty close to that I just did the math). That is an entire day, not including at home computer usage or television. Round that up, its about 32 hours of illuminated screens blinding me slowly. This is dangerous. I have good vision...had. I can already start to feel the eye strain, and after watching 50/50 I've become an honorary hypochondriac. I say "honorary" because it makes it sound less pathetic, just throw that word in front of anything you do that makes you feel pathetic, and boom! instantaneously better.

Speaking of pathetic, do you know what its like to take 35 pictures on a film camera only to find out later, there was no film in the camera...Cause I recently was introduced to this feeling. I don't want to get into the details, but I bet you're asking "How do you forget to put the film in the camera?" Well, I didn't, I was misinformed. It was going to happen regardless, because there was no way for me to check without ruining the film or lack there of.

Anyway, back to problem at hand blinding oneself. If I do end up blinding myself it better be in a lot cooler way than staring at a screen too long. Oedipus had the right idea, although his reasons were far more disgusting for doing it and I don't condone his actions leading up to that, don't be mistaken. Still, he blinded himself using his mom/wife's brooches. Not my first weapon of choice, but I guess it does the job. I'm thinking machete or ice pick, either or, I'm not real "picky"... :-] :-) :-}. That is my gradual small smile to large smile emoticon train, I've trademarked it, so if you use it, I want credit.

I think or order to save my eyes, I need to start going outside more and looking at things that don't make my eyes want to burst into flames, things that are pretty and "easy on the eyes." I am currently having massive eye strain and can feel my heart beat in right eye, I don't think that's a good sign.

So after you read this post of course, I ask that you get off the computer and go outside. Because maybe...just maybe, we can end child obesity together! I bet you didn't think I was going there, truthfully I had no idea I was going there.

Honestly though, its sort fucked up we have child obesity problems here, where in Africa they have child malnutrition problems? My suggestion lets do the ultimate house swap, but instead we do Country Swap. Only about a month, that would probably even 'em out. Just think about it.

Anyone else catch this in the new Avengers trailer? The arrows are pointing to Progressive Field formerly known as Jacobs Field, where the Indians play, Cleveland Indians that is...Cleveland Bitches!

Now, I have to leave you so I can write a paper about the ever so interesting Heart of Darkness. Short story my ass, it's 60 pages long. Short stories should have a max of 10, and even that's pushing it.

Last but not least, Nello D. I know I may have hurt you last post but, We've been together since way back when. Sometimes I never want to see you again. But I want you to know, after all these year. You're still the one I want whisperin' in my ear .You're still the one I want to talk to in bed.
Still the one that turns my head. We're still having fun, and you're still the one

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad

That was Then, This is Now.

"Hello friend,"

That is my first ever Little Bill reference. Proud to share it with the rest of you. As I do so many other things. Little Bill was a decent show, no Rupert, Gullah Gullah Island, or even Babar but it had its place in history.

Back then, Television was a lot better...life was a lot better, but for the sake of limitations we'll stick to just TV right now. Nickelodeon use to rule our house's TV, with Disney and Cartoon Network being close behind. Show after show was quality. Someone once told me that the original cast of All That is better than the cast of SNL now, and although I don't know if that's completely true, I would say they could be make a strong argument. Those of you kids who didn't have cable...Nello D, August, that sucks because you missed out on quality brain loss and mindless stupidity that I will forever remember.

Not even talking about kid networks, MTV used to actually be Music Television, with a strong emphasis on the Music part. How often do you turn it to that channel and music is not on it. My guess would be 95% of the time. MTV is now riddled with teenage mothers, people with weird addictions, and heavily intoxicated "celebrities." I remember sneaking into the living room late at night, so I could watch MTV Cancun with my brother, yea it was sleazy and disgusting, but it was the coolest thing you could see when you were that age. Beavis and Butthead recently came back, and though still hilarious, it has completely revamped its style. They don't really talk about music videos anymore, but instead the plague which is reality televison.

This new movie coming out from the wonderful creators over at Magnet have recently released a brand new trailer for God Bless America. Directed and written by Police Academy veteran, Bobcat Goldthwait, which if you can't remember who that is, because you're getting him confused with all the other Bobcats you know, he's the guy who constantly sounds like someone is twisting his nuts with a pair of pliers.



Magnet is known for making some blatantly obvious movies, and by that I mean their plots are usually the similar to the ideas a group of heroin addicts sitting around a table would pitch for movie ideas. They actually take these ideas and make them reality, but in a fantastically awesome way. They are our deepest, most secretive, evil thoughts and desires put into a movie. Just check out Hobo with a Shotgun, Rubber, or Troll Hunter if you don't believe me.

Although this movie does seem pretty over the top and ridiculous, it sort makes every person realize what that shitty feeling in the bottom of their stomach is every time they turn on the TV, that feeling that grew once people like Kim Kardashian and Heidi Montag became celebrities for doing nothing. Jersey Shore is hilarious, but not because of funny humor, but because its so sad how that's how far we've fallen, that tears don't even do it justice, we have to laugh at how pathetic it is. It seems like we went from wanting to like people on TV, to enjoy hating people on TV.

Granted I'm not saying all TV is bad, because its not. I'm a TV junkie still, there are so many good shows on now like Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, Modern Family, Daily Show, etc. These shows know what it means to be good, they don't need cheap, trashy gimmicks. As long as these networks like Showtime and HBO continue to birth out these unbelievable shows, I think we'll be just fine. There is a black hole though in the Television world, and I think we need to do something about, like kill it, just shoot in the freaking face and watch it die slowly.

Our TV idols went from Nick Jr's Face to Simon Cowell, from Stick Stickley to Ryan Seacrest (which I think the two bare a striking resemblance), regardless our idols have been realized and it turned out to be a lot more sad than any of us expected.

I know reality TV is cheaper, but truth is I'd rather watch reruns of Everwood for the rest of my life than sit through one more Bachelor commercial. No one cares, they never get married and if they do, they will get a divorce or just cheat on each other the rest of their lives.

Reruns are more original than reality TV.

Also, we put up our official casting call, so here it is for our movie...This is the only place I can think to post it.
http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/tlg/2831641767.html

Danny Fortuna, I just want to say you are my sunshine, my only sunshine... You make me happy when skies are gray... You never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.

Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad