Tonight I will be speaking to you of the dangers of moto-surf, made popular by the 90's comaction (comedy-action) hit Surf Ninjas. Although moto-surf (or as it's more popularly known now as Ghost Riding) seems like a grand old time for kids of all ages, but it's actually extremely dangerous. I only know after attempting it an empty parking lot few years back. Couldn't quite do it, I think due to lack of retractable roof but others think I just wasn't good enough, untrue. Regardless, had I gotten onto that roof, God knows I probably wouldn't be here now.
If I were to tell that story to someone, I would definitely embellish the fail. Not lie, but instead spruce it up a bit, nothing wrong with that. For instance, If I were telling the tale of the failed moto-surf I wouldn't just say I tried to get on the roof and failed, I would say "As I was climbing from my seat through the front window, my foot slipped on the steering wheel making me head towards a tree at a whopping 5 mph." See its cooler because It sounded more awesome, followed by a hilarious reality that the car wasn't going that fast. Embellishing, Hollywood does it all the time. I think I should start all of my stories by saying, "This is based on a true story." What makes a good story though? People doing stupid things, better yet people doing stupid things and getting caught...or injured.
There are many stupid things I have done in my life. Most of them are more embarrassing than dangerous which as pathetic as it sounds... is actually just that, pathetic. Still they make for good stories, most of the time. That's really why I do them, My first thought isn't "Is this dangerous?" or "Will I regret this?" No, it is simply "This could sound really cool later with some added verbal flare." I like to commit to the act of getting the laugh, regardless of the cost. Unfortunately that has definitely got me into some trouble.
The moment that I regret it most, is the second I get caught. For two real reasons, the first being the instant shame that comes over me. I mean its incredible the amount of shame one could feel in one moment after feeling superior the second before, never liked disappointing people, didn't matter if I knew them or not (which is a whole other set of deep seeded issues that I plan on storing deep down and tightly locking them up, never to be dealt with in a smart, mature way). That shame is enough to make a bitch out of you, really apologize your ass off, and hope that you get some Nello luck, and pray you don't have to pay out the ass to get out of it.
Stories that I find to be the most entertaining to other people, are the ones that are the hardest to tell still, because I'm so embarrassed by them *cough St. Louis. The second being is that I know from that moment, the whole dynamic of how I tell that story goes from bad-ass super sweet amazing, stamos-Jarrad to pathetic, aww-poor baby sanjaya-Jarrad. If you don't know who that is, don't look him up. I was once called that at a Billy Joel concert, didn't appreciate that dick 4 rows behind me, I still cry a little when I think about it.
Story-telling is not easy, and although I think I have become slightly better at it, I still struggle. I've always admired people who could do it, but when the story is personal, its hard to have the same story-telling ability for all personal stories, because they're not all winners. These posts for example. Not all winners, I know that, I probably think that immediately after I post them. Then what do I think? I disappointed you. I'm sorry, but it's not going to make the posts any better, just some nights I'm more on than others.
I'm getting off topic, but I'm saying that when telling a story embellish a little bit, you will come up with things you didn't even know you had in you. It's a growing exercise, not a lying exercise.
Side-Note: exercise is a difficult word for me to spell, I just used it twice and misspelled it 3 times each. I say twice because I copied and pasted the last one into this sentence...and in the title.
I hope everyone who had a spring break this past week enjoyed it. if you're just starting or about to have a great one.
I have to mention this because I told Jim I would, but This group on Facebook is March Madness- Greatest Songs of all Time, endorsed by I, introduced to me by one of the founders Jim Razzante, close-friend with benefit, just one benefit. Guess. Anyway, they're searching for what people believe to be is the Greatest Song of all Time. Go on and like it, and just vote it's fun, easy, and maybe we can find out one of the secrets of life.
March Madness- Greatest Songs of All Time
Also, saw this kid posted these pictures of him with his horse mask all around Chicago on Reddit yesterday...this was his last pic.If you know where this is and you go to school here, good for you, if you don't...I don't know what to say to you.
Night, Nite, Knight,
Jarrad
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